Pregnant?
by gawilliams
Summary: The aftermath of Bones' stunning announcement.  Rating for later chapters.
1. Chapter 1

_As the result of a request I was informed of by Nyre The Black Rose, I have written this story to take a look at what could happen in the aftermath of Bones' stunning revelation. Having read some of the excellent stories that have been written about the now famous scene, I only hope that this offering of mine meets with equally positive approbation. Gregg._

_Disclaimer: I don't own, or profit from, these characters or franchise. No copyright infringement is intended._

_**A Few Weeks Before**_

Bones woke up, Booth's arms around her as they had been when she fell asleep, crying over the cruel injustice of Vincent's death. For the first time in a long time she felt indescribably safe, and loved. After all of the heart crushing let downs of the past year, the worst of which was being told by Booth, in the aftermath of her breakdown in his SUV, that Hannah was not a consolation prize, she was finally able to hold onto him and know that she was ready. Maybe not the total lack of imperviousness that she had told him she needed, but close enough. She felt just the right combination of imperviousness in order to do her job and watch as Booth rushed into dangerous situations, yet have the strength to admit, and act on her feelings and emotions. Feeling a pleasing prodding against her abdomen she smiled. This was an extremely pleasing way to wake up. She let her free hand wander down Booth's abdomen, teasingly covered by his dark blue t-shirt, and let her fingers skirt along the edge of the waist of his sweat pants.

"Not that I'm complaining, Bones, but, uh, is this the right time?" she heard Booth ask a little groggily, though she knew that with his sniper senses he had known exactly what she was doing the instant her hand began moving.

She looked up at him, her face a bit red from all the crying she'd done in his arms, and the tears having left drying tracks on her cheeks. He was looking down at her, a worried expression on his face. Not disapproval, she knew, but concern that if they did this it could fracture and destroy the fragile foundation they'd been building since the incredibly important discussion they'd had in the aftermath of their time in the elevator.

"I don't know," she told him honestly. "I don't know if I'm overly emotional because of what happened to Vincent, or I'm terrified that I won't see you again when you go after Broadsky. All I know is, I want this, and I know I'm strong enough now to be able to take this step."

Booth was torn. There was no question that he wanted this. His anger had left him some time before, and he was confident that she had left enough of her imperviousness to make this work, but it still nagged at him that if this was for the wrong reasons, then it could ruin any hope of them making a real go of a relationship.

"Please, Booth," she said with a serious look in her eyes.

Booth didn't say anything. Instead he leaned his head down and kissed her. Softly, intimately, but enough behind it to give her his answer. He groaned when he felt her hand slip underneath the waist band of his sweats and grasp his morning erection. They were definitely going to be late for work.

_**The Present**_

"_I'm pregnant. And you're the father._"

Booth stood there not knowing how to react. The very happy events of the evening had created a contended sense of genuine family, and he was reminded of when he held his son Parker for the first time. He was happy for Angela and Hodgins, but he hadn't been able to keep some of the sad emotions surrounding his own situation vis-a-vis Parker from bringing him down slightly. Now he had just been told by the woman he had been in love with for years that he was going to be a father once more. Then it slammed into him. He was going to be a father! The slow, widening smile he used when he was at his happiest, and reserved for Bones alone, appeared, and he saw the relief on her face. She'd obviously been quite nervous about his possible reactions.

"Seriously? Us? We're going to have a baby?" he blurted out, the excitement clear in his tone, and shining in his eyes.

"Uh, huh," she said nervously, talking in the reaction of Booth. She was sure he was happy, but this was so sudden, and his bad experience with Rebecca regarding Parker had to be on his mind. Before she could even try and reassure him she was swept up in his arms.

"You're the _**best**_, Bones!" he shouted, laughing, and crying mixed together.

When she was back on her feet, but still pulled close to him, she looked up at his face and got a serious look on her face.

"You know I won't ever do to you what Rebecca did, don't you?" she asked. "If this doesn't work between us, you will have equal rights to our child. You know that, don't you?"

"Hey," he said, a smile on his face. "I know. You're nothing like Rebecca, Bones. Now let's go and have something to eat and just savor the moment."

Bones smiled. "Yeah," she said, an almost dreamy quality to her voice. Then she got a stern look on her face. "And no treating my like an invalid. Hodgins drove Ange crazy with his over protectiveness, and I won't stand for it."

Booth laughed as he put his arm over her shoulders and they walked on. "No promises, Bones," he said calmly. "Besides, that's the best part."

"For whom?" she muttered, but let herself lean into his body and enjoy the warmth it created, and the comfort.

_A/N: There's the first chapter. This story will be a few chapters long and have a reasonable amount of humor, seriousness, and smut. I hope you all enjoy it. I will be posting the next chapter of _The Stash_ tomorrow. Gregg._


	2. Chapter 2

_I am utterly overwhelmed at the response to the first chapter to this story. I can't begin to thank everyone enough for the reviews and alerts that this story garnered. A fair warning, though, this story will contain humor, which I enjoy employing in my stories, as well as the serious side, so it won't all be the emotional cast that the first chapter developed. I hope that it doesn't prevent everyone from continuing to enjoy it as much as you did from the start. And now, on to the next part. Gregg._

_Disclaimer: I don't own, or profit from, these characters or franchise. No copyright infringement is intended._

_**The Hospital The Next Morning**_

Booth and Bones entered the room where Angela was and smiled. Their friend was in the hospital bed nursing baby Michael while a very proud, almost strutting, Jack Hodgins was watching. He looked like he was itching to take back their son and hold the little guy some more. Angela had a very contented look on her face, which turned into a very elated smile when she saw her friends.

"Hey, you two," she said calmly so as not to disturb her son from finishing his meal.

"Hey, Guys," Jack said as he walked over and shook Booth's hand and hugged Bones.

"Okay now that the polite blah blah blah is over with, out boys," Angela directed. "Bren and me need some time alone for a little Girl Talk."

"You know that's code for they want to talk about us, right?" Hodgins commented to Booth as they walked out the door like the obedient saps they were when it came to Angela.

"Of course," Booth acknowledged, noting the glare from Bones that told him that she heard him. He sighed. When would he ever learn to never acknowledge gender stereotypes when she was around? He made a note to pick up her favorite gourmet cake on the way home. It was expensive, but worth it if it kept him from a lengthy lecture on the need to eliminate stereotypes. He'd heard that one all too often over the years.

As they walked down the hall Booth noticed that Hodgins' eyes kept shifting back and forth rapidly, as if he was in the military on a patrol looking out for potential trouble. It only served to heighten his own senses and he didn't like it. He'd spent a great deal of time in the aftermath of the Broadsky cases working on getting his hyperactive sensitivity calmed down. He didn't need Hodgins making him skittish. He clapped the guy on the shoulder and Hodgins jumped, completely startled.

"Relax, Hodgins," he said with a chuckle. "What's got you so jumpy? You've been like this ever since leaving the hospital room."

"Dude, I am just waiting for Angie's Dad to show up," Hodgins replied, his eyes still darting around.

Booth chuckled. "Still afraid of your father-in-law, huh?" he asked.

"When you wake up in the middle of the freaking desert with a large tattoo of the love of your life on your shoulder and upper arm, you learn to be very afraid," Hodgins hissed. "And to top it all off I got _**another**_ tattoo courtesy of Billy when I said Hell No to the name he picked out for our baby!"

"_Another_ tattoo?" Booth asked, very curious now.

Hodgins sighed. Looking around and seeing no one, he shrugged off his hoodie and rolled up the sleeve of his right arm, revealing the tattoo of the head of Billy and the word Dad scrolled underneath.

Booth wanted to laugh his ass off, but didn't. "That doesn't look _**too**_ bad," he offered.

Hodgins gave him a sarcastic look. "Dude, have you ever had sex with your lady utterly convinced her Dad was watching the whole time?" he asked. "Because that's what this feels like!"

Booth shuddered at the thought of Max catching him and Bones going at it. That would not be a fun experience. "So, tell me how it feels to be a Father," he said as they brought their coffee to a table.

"Totally awesome, Dude," Hodgins said with a dreamy, faraway look on his face.

_**Meanwhile**_

"So, how are things with Agent Studly," Angela asked immediately once the guys had left and the door was closed.

"I'm pregnant with Booth's baby," she said. She and Booth had decided to let them know about it, though Booth had insisted that for the sake of his eardrums that he not be in the room when Angela was informed. As it was, she winced when an earsplitting squeal cut loose from Angela, bringing forth a couple of nurses demanding to know if anything was wrong.

"Pregnant?" Angela asked incredulously. Then something dawned on her. "Just how many times have you and Studly gotten down and dirty?" She only knew of the one time, and of Bren's concerns over the reason that it had happened, despite the feelings she had for Booth.

"Only the one time, Ange," Bones admitted.

"Booth really _must _have the sperm count of a God if his little swimmers can do that kind of damage in one go," Angela said admiringly.

Bones shared a chuckle at the memory of Booth's comment to Sweets a couple of years before when he'd said he was a God because he could make his own country with his sperm count. She made a note to tease him about it later on.

"Why only the one time, Sweetie?" Angela asked. "Are you still worried about why you and Booth got together?"

Bones frowned. To be perfectly fair she was still worried about that to an extent, but she also knew that they would have gotten together soon anyway, so it was not a serious issue. Booth, though, had made it clear that he wanted to take this slowly, and as a result, while they spent a great deal of time together, and ate dinner together every day, they had not had sex (no, it had been making love, which she was readily able to admit was exactly what Booth had always said it was) since that one night. But the relationship was developing a foundation that was solid, and very satisfying. Taking a seat, she started to explain all this to Angela, who listened with rapt attention.

_**Back at the Cafeteria**_

"Hodgins, I need to let you know something, but you need to keep it under your hat for the time being," Booth told his friend seriously. "Bones is letting Angela know right now."

"Sure thing, Man," Hodgins assured him.

"Bones is pregnant and I'm the father," Booth calmly revealed.

Hodgins' eyes bugged out. "Dr. B pregnant?" he asked, the incredulous tone clear in his voice. "By you? How long has this been going on?"

"It happened when Vincent died," Booth revealed, a tad reluctantly. It sounded worse than it really was, but the last thing he wanted anyone to think was that it took a serious tragedy to get him and Bones to make the first move. Unfortunately that was exactly what happened. Thankfully it was working out.

"Wait a minute," Hodgins shook his head in disbelief. "You mean you guys finally hook up and it's only happened once? That was like four weeks ago, Dude."

"Not everyone is like you and Angela," Booth shot back testily. What the Hell was so difficult to understand about wanting to do this right and slowly? Even Bones was in agreement about this, and that was about the last thing he'd expected. He'd actually been mentally preparing to kiss the jewels goodbye when he suggested the slow approach.

"True," Hodgins admitted with a sheepish grin.

"_And just what are you and my Baby Girl like, Hodgins_," came a very familiar, and for Hodgins a dreaded, voice from behind Hodgins, causing him to go deathly pale.

_A/N: Sorry, but I love cliffhangers. I think you all know who is behind Hodgins, and I couldn't resist bringing him into this for fun. The smut and all will be in this story, but for now I am working on getting past the initial stages of the big announcement and also the immediate aftermath of the new addition to the Hodgins family. I hope you enjoyed this one. Gregg._


	3. Chapter 3

_Again the response has been fabulous as this story continues. Here is another chapter. I hope you enjoy it. Gregg._

_Disclaimer: I don't own, or profit from, these characters or franchise. No copyright infringement is intended._

"You mean you haven't heard about all the footage that the Jeffersonian has of Hodgins and Angela?" Booth said out loud, loving the look on Hodgins face. This was the perfect time to get even for that Christmas in lock down all those years ago.

Jack's face went even paler and he silently prayed for a very quick and merciful death. He pasted a sickly smile on his face and cranked his head around looking up at his Father-in-Law who was looking down at him, his sunglasses hiding those mercurial eyes of his.

"Hi, Dad," he said, the nervous tension in his voice thicker than ever.

"What kind of footage, Hodgins?" Billy said as he sat down and looked at his son-in-law. "Are you taking advantage of my Baby Girl?"

Jack got a horrified look on his face. "Absolutely not!" he shrieked. He shot a pleading look over at Booth to get some desperately needed help and got nothing but an amused smile for his troubles.

"Well, Hodgins," Billy said, his Texas drawl out in full force, "I think after we go see Angie and my grandson, who I _**didn't**_ get to name, we should go out for a drink and talk about this footage Booth here is talking about."

Hodgins gulped. "Tequila?" he squeaked.

"I like your taste, Hodgins," Billy grinned evilly. "We'll see if this time your tolerance has gone up." He stood up and placed some money on the table. "This one's on me Boys. I'm heading up to see Angie and my Grandson. See you there, Hodgins."

"I am so fucked," Hodgins groaned, his head in his hands on the table surface.

"It could be worse, Hodgins," Booth chuckled.

"Oh?" Jack questioned. "How's that?"

"You could be me and have to explain to Max that you got his daughter pregnant and no marriage is in the offing," Booth told him. Just the thought made him shudder as he still hadn't figured out how to deal with that nightmare.

"True," Jack said, but then he paled again. "I just know I'm going to wake up miserable and with a new tattoo. The only horrifying question is where the _**Hell**_ is he going to put this one?"

"Pray it's not on Jack Jr.," Booth said as he stood up to go back and see the baby.

"Can I use your gun so I can shoot myself now and end the suffering?" Hodgins groaned as he joined Booth on the elevator.

"Suck it up and take it like a man, Hodgins," Booth said, his own little evil smile on his face. After nearly five and a half years he was finally tasting the sweet taste of revenge over the lock down episode. _**No one**_ screws up his Christmas time with Parker and gets away with it.

_**Angela's Room**_

"How's my baby girl and grandson," Billy said when he entered the room.

Angela looked up and smiled widely. Regardless of how frustrating her Father could be at times, she loved him dearly. The fact that he left the ongoing tour to come see her and the baby so quickly spoke volumes about his feelings for her and it warmed her heart.

"We're doing fine, Dad," she said as she held up the baby who had just finished his meal.

"So this is the little guy I _**didn't**_ get to name," he said, a smile on his face as he took the baby in his arms. He even removed his ever present sunglasses to take a good look.

Once Booth and Hodgins arrived Angela couldn't resist teasing Booth about his God-like attributes. Naturally he got flustered, which amused everyone, though Bones did sidle up next to him and lean against him, her arm around his back. Billy had gifts for the baby, including a cap that matched his own, and a pair of tiny sunglasses.

"So, Angie, I was hoping to take Hodgins out for a drink to congratulate him," Billy said, his drawl even thicker than usual.

Hodgins got pale again, and Angela noticed. She narrowed her eyes at her Father.

"No Tequila, and no tattoos," she decreed.

Hodgins looked about ready to bow down and kiss her feet when she said that.

"All right, Angie," Billy said, a bit amused. "No Tequila and no tattoos."

"And no leaving him in the middle of nowhere!" Angela called out when Hodgins walked out of the room with her Father. Hodgie looked like he was heading to the gallows, but at least she had laid down the law with her Father. Hopefully he would listen.

"You think he'll do what you said?" Booth asked curiously.

Angela shrugged her shoulders. The baby was back in the bassinet sleeping. "I don't know," she replied. "But it'll be fun seeing Hodgie's condition when he gets back."

"We need to do a few things, Ange," Bones said, standing up. "We'll be back tomorrow, though."

Angela hugged both of her friends, and issued a warning to Booth. "I know it's not all your fault about how long this took, but don't screw this up or I'll sick my Dad on you," she warned him, whispering it in his ear.

Booth shuddered. Max was bad enough, but both him _**and**_ Billy? He was definitely going to be talking with Bones about approaching Max with kid gloves. He was also going to make sure that he made Bones happy 24/7 from that moment on. His Kanji tattoos were enough in his opinion.

In the SUV and heading to the store to pick up a few groceries since he was cooking for them that evening, Bones asked what she had been wondering about all morning since they got to the hospital. He'd seemed a bit off, if that made any sense, which in her mind it didn't as it was such an inaccurate and vague term to use to describe what she felt coming from him.

"Is something wrong?" she asked, hoping the worry was kept out of her voice.

Booth sighed. "Honestly, Bones? I keep thinking about how happy I am that were going to be parents, but at the same time I keep worrying about screwing up somehow," he replied.

"What do you mean?" she asked, trying to get away from her old signature phrase of "I don't know what that means."

"I look at Parker and see a great kid, but I also see all the mistakes I made, too," he confessed. "And before you say it, I know not all of that's my fault. Rebecca shares in that with all the custody mess, but I should have done more." He sighed. "I know it won't be like that at all this time around, Bones, but I can't get it out of my head. And then I see Angela and Hodgins and I see parents who will do a whole lot for their kids that I never could do for Parker, and I wonder if he'll be angry somehow when our kid has some advantages that he didn't."

Bones could sympathize with him on that, and she was glad that he realized that her money was no longer a serious issue between them, though she knew that it would come up now and then. But she did disagree with him about how Parker would react.

"Parker won't be angry or jealous, Booth," she told him. "He knows you've done the best you could, and with the enrichment programs he's been participating in at the Jeffersonian, and the time you've been able to spend with him since getting back from Afghanistan, he knows you love him. It won't be a problem."

Booth reached out and took her hand in his. He gave it a loving squeeze. "Thanks, Bones," he told her. He could always count on her to make him think about what his problems or hangups were, and work out the issues in a positive way. Some things may take time to sort themselves out, but at least he always had her support and help.

"We need to let Max know about the pregnancy," Bones said as the next thought to enter her head was voiced.

"How about you let Max know, and I'll go up and let Pops know," he suggested, not really wanting to be in the room when Max found out the joyous news.

Bones looked at Booth and gave him a piercing stare. "We will tell them together," she said firmly. "We'll let Pops know, first, though. That way you can put on your protective hockey equipment in order to protect your testes."

"It's called a cup, Bones," Booth groaned. He knew she was messing with him, and he loved how her sense of humor had developed, but right now he wasn't terribly in the mood for humor. "Why do I feel like Hodgins is getting the better end of the whole Father-in-Law deal?"

Bones just laughed as they pulled into the parking lot of the grocery store.

_A/N: The response and encouragement for this story has been fantastic. I'm still not sure how far out I will carry this one, but I will have some fun with the early stages of the pregnancy, though. And, as I mentioned in an earlier note, there will be smut in addition to the humor and seriousness. Gregg._


	4. Chapter 4

_In this one we find out what happened to Hodgins and then move on to some smut, which we've all been patiently waiting for. As always I am extremely grateful for all of the wonderful reviews and alerts. I hope you enjoy this one. Gregg._

_Disclaimer: I don't own, or profit from, these characters or franchise. No copyright infringement is intended._

_**The Next Morning**_

As it turned out neither Max or Pops were available the afternoon before. Max was on a short getaway with his "lady friend" and Pops hadn't been feeling so go, a touch of the flu, and so they decided to give it a couple of days before letting them know. The night before had been spent doing a lot of talking about the future and how they were going to handle things, especially work. Booth, naturally, had been at his overprotective best, while Bones had decreed that it was her body and she would decided when was the appropriate time to begin taking it easy work wise. Neither had been terribly pleased at the outcome, but both were very pleased that they were managing to discuss the issues and not fight about them.

Booth was just waking up, with Bones asleep in his arms he was pleased as punch to note, at about 10:30 in the morning when his cell phone rang. He glared at the stupid thing, but knew that he needed to answer it in case it was a case. He hoped it wasn't, but murderers and cutthroats weren't the most considerate of investigators days off.

"Booth," he said firmly when he flipped the thing open and answered, mentally kissing his morning lie in with Bones curled up against him goodbye.

"Can I have my Father-in-Law arrested and charged with assault?" a very irate Hodgins asked.

"You woke me up because you're pissed at your Father-in-Law?" Booth asked, a little peeved. This could have waited. "Max punched me in the balls four years ago, Hodgins. Do you see me holding a grudge?" He saw Bones looking up at him, her eyes twinkling with mischief.

"I've got another tattoo!" Hodgins yelled into the phone. "_**After**_ Angie told him **_no_** tequila or tattoos he got me blitzed again and gave me another tattoo! I want him arrested!"

Booth groaned slightly as he felt Bones close her warm hand around his morning erection. He wanted to say something and tell her that now was not the time, but it would be a dead giveaway to Hodgins, so he kept it to himself.

"Have the thing removed, Hodgins," Booth suggested, his teeth clenching just a bit as Bones began a very talented hand job on him. _Dear God in Heaven she's good at that!_ Booth thought to himself.

"Do you have any idea how_** painful**_ that is?" Hodgins thundered, his voice going up a few octaves. "And this isn't just any tattoo on the upper arm. This one is the heads of his other two band members on each shoulder blade looking down and floating on clouds with the words, in **_bold_** calligraphy no less, _**Overprotective Honorary Uncles Watching Over You**_! My whole back is a tattoo! I want him arrested and in jail!"

Booth was almost in a complete pleasure driven fog at that moment given the deliriously wonderful things Bones was doing to Junior, adding a small lick here and there to tease him some more. But he had enough presence of mind to reply.

"You can't have the lead guy on one of the most popular rock bands in the world, and in history, arrested, screwing up a new world tour, Hodgins," he told his friend. "Fans would find out it was you who had it done and lynch you. Then they'd consider me an accomplice in ruining their concert plans and lynch me, too! I don't think now is the time for us to be pushing up daisies, Hodgins."

"I'm going to talk to Caroline," Hodgins said finally, after he was done spluttering in outrage at Booth's apparent disinterest in his suffering. "There's gotta be something I can do to get even."

"Good luck," Booth chuckled, and almost hissed when Bones took him in her mouth and began to work her oral magic on Junior. "Caroline's a big fan of ZZ Top. Don't ask me how, but she is. Besides, you were drunk, so you aren't an effective witness to the fact that you weren't willing to have a tattoo." He hung up when Hodgins began cursing up a storm at that announcement. Looking down on Bones he chuckled, her eyes focused on him while she was working her mouth slowly up and down his length. "You realize that you've just blown the slow approach right out of the water."

She chuckled as she released him, though keeping a firm grasp with her hand. "I was impatient to have this again," she told him honestly, giving a slight nod to his cock. "Besides, I thought all men loved being blown."

"We do, Bones, but haven't you ever heard that patience is a virtue?" he asked, though not really against what was happening. A month of good conversation, sleeping in each others arms, working on the past issues that each still felt, and making a real go of this had been the slow phase, so he was ready, willing, and most definitely able for the speedy phase to begin.

"Patience is counterproductive when there is so much lost time to make up for," she told him, a serious look on her face as she returned her attention to his very eager junior partner.

"Well, there is that," he grinned. Leave it to Bones to cut through all the BS and get to the main point. God he loved her! He reached down and pulled her up, giving her a deep kiss.

"I was already saying good morning, Booth," she teased when they broke off the kiss for a bit of air.

"And doing a totally awesome job of it, Bones," he assured her. "But I'm still reveling in the fact that for the last month I've been waking up with you in my arms."

Bones felt a flare of heated arousal as she thought about the fact that they had spent every night together since that first night, but only holding each other. It was incredibly intimate, and at the same time extremely satisfying. She was understanding all that he had told her over the years about love, and knew that he had shown her that all along he'd been the right person. They had just needed to get beyond all the baggage that each held. She was sad, though, that they had managed to hurt each other so terribly over the years in getting to this point.

"I am, too, Booth," she said, her tone a bit husky, but gentle at the same time. She laid a hand on his cheek, stroking the morning stubble, shivering at the thought of that rough surface stimulating her inner thighs as he orally pleasured her. The one time they'd been together had proven to her he was a master at the art of cunnilingus. While she was desirous of a repeat performance, she wanted him inside of her at that moment even more. She quickly positioned herself and slid back on him, taking his length inside her with a slight intake of breath. He was large, and stretched her so incredibly well. "But I think we need this more," she said as she began a slow back and forth, feeling him slide over her inner tissues with just the perfect amount of friction as she clenched and unclenched her tight sheath.

"Oh my God you're incredible," Booth ground out as he tried to hold off the explosion. He was amazed that she could bring him to the verge of cumming so quickly. He prided himself on his stamina, but with Bones he was definitely going to have to retrain Junior down there. He mentally recited some Saints in an effort to hold off the eminent end of this round of bliss.

Bones sped up the motion of her hips knowing he was close. So was she, and she wanted to feel him explode inside of her like she did a month before. Normally one for protection, she had foregone that one month ago, and now that she was pregnant could see no sense in denying herself, and him, the pleasure of _**genuinely**_ enjoying one another. She let herself fall forward, kissing him again and then working her way along his jaw until her lips were at his ear. She nipped at his lobe, causing him to spasm, which felt incredible inside of her.

"You're the one who feels incredible," she whispered, a naughty, yet sexy tone in her voice. "Cum for me, Booth. I want to feel you cum deep inside of me."

"Oh, shit!" he strangled out as he exploded, thrusting deeply into her as he felt her come apart, too.

They spent a few minutes slowly coming down from the mutual climax. For both of them it was another clear signal that this was right, and the relationship was going to work, despite the difficulties they knew would come about. Suddenly a thought entered Booth's mind and he began to chuckle.

"What's so funny?" she asked, lifting her head from it's comfortable position on his well defined chest.

"I was just thinking about how Sweets will react when he finds out that not only are we finally together, but that we're going to have a baby," he said, still chuckling.

Bones started laughing, too. "It should be interesting to see," she agreed. "Why don't we tell him today?" she asked, a twinkle in her eyes.

"Bones?" he asked guardedly.

"Trust me," she said as she kissed him again, shifting her hips a bit as a treat to his senses.

"Just don't give the kid a coronary, Bones," Booth told her, and then, not being able to take it anymore, rolled over on top of her and slid into her, Junior already having miraculously recovered. "But first things first."

"Definitely," she said as she wrapped her legs around his waist and pulled him down for a deep, toe curling kiss.

_A/N: Well now we know what happened to Hodgins, and we got a small bit of smut to start with. Next up, we get to Sweets' reaction. Till next time. Gregg._


	5. Chapter 5

_I spent some time on this one to come up with a suitably humorous scenario for Sweets finding out about the pregnancy, and having some fun with his mind along the way. I hope you enjoy this new addition to the story. Gregg._

_Disclaimer: I don't own, or profit from, the characters or franchise. No copyright infringement is intended._

_**Monday Morning, Sweets' Office**_

The rest of the weekend had been spent discussing the pregnancy and the changes in their personal lives that it would bring, along with some seriously hot and sweaty sex. While some decisions had been made, implementing those decisions, especially the one about moving in together, was going to be deferred until they had a better idea as to how their work situation was going to pan out. First, though, they were going to work on letting Sweets know about the pregnancy, but mess with his mind a bit. Booth had to admit that Bones' idea was a damn good one, and they were going to love seeing Sweets have a bit of a coronary right in front of their eyes.

"How's it going, Sweets!" Booth boomed out as he ushered Bones into the 12 year old's office.

Sweets looked up, suddenly nervous. Booth and Brennan were early. Early! They were never on time for their sessions. Never! Now they were early and arriving together? Something was up.

"Agent Booth, Dr. Brennan," he said politely. "You're early for our session."

"And we're turning off our cell phones," Booth said, holding up his cell phone, along with Bones, showing him that they both had turned them off.

Sweets' eyes widened. His internal alarm went off with a sudden dread. They never turned off their cell phones! Never! Add that to the fact that they were both early and he was about to be sick. This was not good. Not good at all.

"Okay, that's a very positive step in our professional relationship," he said, hiding the nervous gulp that was threatening to break free.

Booth and Bones looked at one another, having their own mental conversation, knowing it always drove Sweets nuts, and nodded to each other. Bones pulled out a folder and held it in her lap.

"I'd like to do some word association," Bones said, a confident smile on her face.

Booth played his part and looked a bit shocked, while Sweets paled. The kid knew full well what had happened the**_ last_** time that little goody had been trotted out, and it was still haunting him. He gulped audibly now.

"Really?" he squeaked. It always amazed him at the pitch range the human voice could handle, and his higher octave was good proof of that one.

"I think the first word should be _parent_," Bones said confidently.

Sweets had a sinking feeling, and it was confirmed by the nervous look on Booth's face. Uh, oh. Brennan was going to spring something on the two of them and he would be seeing his own therapist after this session he was now sure. He made a mental note to clear his schedule for the rest of the day. He felt a day long session with Dr. Steele would be needed if the oncoming migraine was any indication.

"Alright, that's an interesting opening word," he said, trying to keep calm in the face of impending doom.

"Yeah, Bones," Booth said, still playing his part in the game. "How about _nurture_," he offered as his word.

Sweets relaxed slightly. At least Booth was keeping this in a neutral focus. He looked over at Brennan, not quite sure if he wanted to hear her next word.

"Protect," she said simply, giving Booth a knowing look, thinking of how protective he was going to be over the next eight or nine months. It gave her a thrill thinking of the arguments that she would be having with him over the subject, already knowing that she would let him win most of them. After all, she was strong now, with only a small, almost unnoticeable fraction of her prior imperviousness. She was finding that the distinction was even more profound, and emotionally satisfying than even she had considered when she had explained it to him that evening during the blackout those months ago.

"Relief," Booth replied. That one was totally honest. Knowing that someone was protected gave him an enormous sense of relief, especially when the person in question was Bones.

"Orgasm," Bones said instantly, working off of Booth's unscripted response. She noted the slight paling of Sweets' face when she said that, and the completely normal reaction that Booth gave. Meaning that he flinched, that is. Teasing him about anything related to sex was so much fun in her opinion. It would be interesting to see if he was able to relax once their relationship developed further.

"Physics," Booth said, a slightly higher octave now in his voice. Part of that was acting so that Sweets would buy into this act and go nuts, but part of it was real as he was still uncomfortable discussing sex with anyone, let alone Bones. He still remembered a totally**_ horrifying_** conversation about her period a couple of years before when she was having a particularly difficult cycle. Right there in the SUV after spending _hours_ at a crime scene where a partially decomposed body had been out there in the open making him sick as a dog, and **_then_** he had to listen to her discuss her female issues. _**So**_ not right!

"Laws," Bones returned. This was fun in her opinion and decided to make word association a normal part of her and Booth's interaction.

"Miracle," Booth shot back, putting in his own spin on the whole sex debate.

"Merging," Bones prompted, hoping he would get the hint and bring them to the shocking part of the exercise.

"Combining," Booth said, giving her the opening he knew she was looking for.

"I'm pregnant," Bones announced suddenly.

"Whoa!" Booth said, playing the shocked partner role to the hilt, shocked expression and all.

Sweets about soiled himself. As it was he spilled his coffee all down his front, not even noticing the slightly burning feel of the hot, but not _**too**_ hot, liquid. He wanted to crawl in a hole and die right then. He'd been lost when they went from orgasm to physics, but now Dr. Brennan was pregnant? Booth seemed shocked, so it meant that he wasn't the prospective father, which meant that Brennan had apparently satisfied some urges unbeknownst to Booth. All the nightmares that he'd had about Booth beating him to a pulp in the aftermath of his interferences which had caused those two all the problems of possibly getting together were now flooding his mind. He felt himself go deathly pale. He only prayed that the father wasn't that idiot Hacker. If it was, then Sweets could kiss his ass goodbye for sure! Booth would kill him!

"Pregnant?" he squeaked, barely able to get the word out over the lump in his throat. Screw the whole day with his therapist, he was going to need a whole **_week_**!

"Bones?" Booth questioned, loving the reaction of Sweets.

"We did talk about this, Booth, so it should come as no surprise," Bones replied, playing it up very well. "We decided that we would give parenting a child together a try, and I had myself artificially inseminated one month ago. I was just informed this morning that I am indeed pregnant with our child."

Sweets' jaw about hit the floor. He definitely hadn't seen this one coming. "Uh, you didn't let Booth know that you were going ahead with the procedure?" he asked, trying desperately to grasp onto something that he could work with and possibly salvage this situation.

"I assumed that he was ready for this when we discussed and agreed to this course of action," Bones said, loving this very much. Messing with someone's mind was definitely fun.

"So I guess we need to hand over the paperwork to Sweets for his files, huh?" Booth said, trying to sound shell shocked, but pleased at the same time.

"Which I have right here, and I faxed a copy to Deputy Director Cullen this morning, with both of our signatures and the appropriate dates affixed," she informed him.

"Good," Booth nodded.

"Uh, guys, what paperwork?" Sweets asked, still very much dazed and trying to catch up.

"I'm resigning from the FBI and Bones is resigning from being a consultant so we can raise our family without the danger involved," Booth replied.

"And as you have always implied, a romantic relationship between us would be frowned upon by the FBI, we have decided that since we will not work with anyone else but each other, it would be simpler to resign and move on together," Bones added. "It's all there in this cover letter to our resignation letters."

Sweets was having heart palpitations. **_Resign_**? Because of **_him_**? Cullen and the others above Cullen were going to lynch him! He took the cover letter with a shaky hand and read the brief note.

_Deputy Director Cullen,_

_This short note is to explain why Special Agent Booth is resigning his position with the FBI and I am ending my consulting position. I have just found that I am pregnant with Booth's child and as such we have decided that as policy apparently does not allow for partners to be in a romantic relationship, which we have gotten the impression of from the consistent questioning from Dr. Sweets about the exact nature of our partnership, we have decided to sever our relationship with the FBI. Our personal relationship is simply too important to subsume to the narrow dictates of a single organization, and as we have no desire whatsoever to work with any other person as a partner, it is simply logical to make this change. We would like to offer our thanks to Dr. Sweets for making this clear to us and saving everybody a great deal of consternation. Thank you for the support you have given our partnership. Sincerely,_

_Dr. Temperance Brennan._

"Well Sweets, I guess that finishes this session," Booth said, a cocky grin on his face. "As you can imagine, Bones and I have a lot to discuss, so we better be going. Keep in touch!"

Sweets looked up as they walked out, his mind trying to fathom how this had happened. He'd _**never**_ insinuated that they couldn't be partners and also have a romantic relationship! The FBI hierarchy had seen the attraction from the beginning and, while concerned, had expressed no serious reservations about it! And now Cullen was going to think that the best team the FBI had was leaving because of one very young psychologist?

"_**SHIT**!_" he shouted and ran out of his office making serious tracks to Cullen's office to try and save his job. This was fast becoming the **_worst_** day of his life!

Booth and Bones chuckled from behind a corner as they watched Sweets rush out of his office and run to the elevators. Still chuckling, they made there way to the parking garage and Booth's issue SUV.

"You did call Cullen and tell him what we were doing to Sweets, didn't you?" Booth asked, suddenly nervous that he would be on the receiving end of a frantic, and subsequently very angry, call from Cullen.

"An hour ago," Bones confirmed. "He said he was looking forward to playing his part before letting Sweets know the truth."

"Thank God," Booth sighed in relief. "Now let's go see Angela and the baby. I want to see how Hodgins is doing this morning."

They both shared a laugh at what had happened to Hodgins.

_A/N: Next up, Booth finds out that Bones wants to have a redefining of the word _equal_ when it comes to the pregnancy. Do you think Booth will be an enthusiastic participant? I hope you enjoyed this one. Gregg._


	6. Chapter 6

_I'm glad everyone enjoyed the last chapter so much. I did enjoy, in an evil sort of way, having Booth and Bones play with Sweets' mind a bit. In this one I bring in Caroline for some fun. I hope you all enjoy it. Gregg._

_Disclaimer: I don't own, or profit from, these characters or franchise. No copyright infringement is intended._

Booth and Bones knew Hodgins was in fine form when they rounded the corner and saw him arguing with Caroline. They gave each other a knowing look and walked over to their two friends. This was going to be interesting.

"He assaulted me!" Hodgins said loudly, earning him some glares from the nursing staff.

"He did not," Caroline said firmly, giving him a glare of her own.

Booth hid his smile. He knew that glare very well and had been on the receiving end of it a few times himself. Now he usually ducked for cover when that glare was anywhere in his vicinity.

"What the Hell do you call this?" he spluttered as he gingerly pulled the back of his shirt off and showed off the rather large tattoo to them all.

"An excellent piece of art, Cher," Caroline said, giving the new addition to his body art a good scrutiny.

Hodgins looked at her with shock filled eyes. Letting the shirt fall slowly, he yanked up the left sleeve. "_**This**_ is art!" he said about the Angela tattoo. Then he yanked up the right sleeve showing Billy. "_**This**_ is just fucking disturbing!" He pointed to his back. "_**That**_ is assault and mutilation plain and simple. It hurts like Hell, too! Angie's _**never**_ going to want to have sex with me again!"

"Listen Art Boy," Caroline drew herself up and got right in his face. "You were drunk. You are the only witness to the act, outside of the tattoo artist, who is so far nameless, and likely will always be. Billy, that_** handsome**_ Music God, says it was completely voluntary, and that you_** insisted **_on getting another tattoo to honor the birth of Michael. Your testimony doesn't count since in the eyes of the law a drunk is not a reliable witness. Find me a witness and I'll consider pressing charges. _**After**_ the world tour is completed, of course. We can't have that band losing any fans because of disappointment at no concerts."

"I insisted on _**this**_?" Hodgins shrieked incredulously. "Are you _**insane**_?"

"Get back in there with your wife and son," Caroline ordered, a fierce glare on her face now. She huffed as she watched him storm back in Angela's room. Then she turned and gave Booth a hard whack on the shoulder.

"Hey!" Booth protested, rubbing his arm. "What was that for?"

"That was for leaving me to deal with the Bug Man," Caroline gave him a glare. Then she gave him another whack. "And that was for getting the Bone Doc here pregnant."

"And that's a bad thing how?" Booth asked sarcastically.

"The two of you are not married," Caroline said firmly.

"I don't believe in marriage," Bones said, rushing to defend Booth.

"Quit lying to yourself, Cherie," Caroline dared her to contradict her. She could see that Booth was surprised when the Brennan didn't say anything against what she'd just said. "Go in and see Angela and the baby, Cherie. I want a few words with Lover Boy here."

"Okay, she's in the room, Caroline," Booth said when he finished looking at Bones' very nice behind as she walked into the hospital room. He flinched when his shoulder got another whack. "Hey!"

"I am going to say this only once, Seeley Booth," Caroline said with that firm, **_don't you dare mess with me_** voice she had. "If you mess this up again, I will personally rip off a very important piece of your anatomy and serve it to you fricasseed. Do we understand one another?"

Booth gulped. "Got it," he said softly.

"You've been given another chance here, Booth," Caroline continued, a bit softer this time. "Don't ask me what the Good Lord sees in you after all that blonde floozy nonsense this past year, but he's letting you have one more shot at the best thing to ever walk into your life. Besides that, I like the Bone Doctor in there. Don't mess this one up."

"Hannah was not a floozy," Booth defended his ex-girlfriend. She wasn't a floozy, though he knew now he'd been only deluding himself by being with her.

Caroline whacked him again. "Don't you go contradicting me, Seeley Booth," she ordered. "She was something warm between the sheets because you let your damn stubborn pride rule the roost instead of that big heart of yours. Now I need to go on home and make myself beautiful for the wonderful Billy who offered to take me to lunch before he leaves to get back to the tour. Too bad I'm married, or I'd make a play for that handsome man myself. He was the soul of charm when I questioned him about the Bug Man's new artwork."

Booth shuddered as he watched Caroline walk down the hall to the elevator. He loved Caroline to death, but a date (even if purely platonic) with her? No way. His thoughts turned back to the woman in the room who had his heart and he smiled. Yep. Time to get in there and begin protecting Junior and the Boys from Caroline. It was bad enough to be fearful of possible reactions from Max, and **_maybe_** Billy, but add Caroline to the mix, and a little preemptive good will was definitely called for. Opening the door he walked into the room.

"Hey, Studly!" Angela said with a smile. She was thrilled that Bren and Booth were finally together.

"Hey, Angela," Booth said, smiling himself. "How's the Mother doing?"

"Happier than I ever thought possible," Angela replied honestly, knowing that some of what she was feeling was the effects of the hormones racing through her.

"At least one of us is happy," Hodgins grumbled from his seat in the corner. He was keeping his back ramrod straight and off of any surfaces.

"He's just sulking because no one will arrest my Dad," Angela told the room at large.

"He assaulted and mutilated me," Hodgins said with real conviction, but a bit quiet as the baby was in the room.

"It's only a tattoo," Angela shrugged.

Hodgins smiled. "Oh, that's right, Ange, you haven't seen it yet," he observed. He stood up, turned around and pulled up his shirt. "Well, what do you think of this one?"

Angela's eyes widened in shock. "Oh, no," she said shaking her head. "You are getting that, and the one of Dad removed! I will not have sex with you until you do!"

Hodgins about had heart failure. "Ange!" he cried out in a whine. "That's some serious pain, and likely some scarring! No way!"

"I know an excellent skin specialist who does fabulous work with skin grafts," Bones offered.

Hodgins paled at the thought of skin grafts. This was _**so**_ not his day! "Can't we even talk about this?" he asked plaintively.

"I will not have the image of my Dad looking down on me when we have sex, nor will I have my honorary uncles looking down on your ass while we have sex," Angela said with no give in her tone.

"Sorry Hodgins, looks like you got the short end of the stick on this one," Booth said, an evil grin on his face. His smile widened when he saw Hodgins scowl.

"That reminds me, Booth," Bones said from her seat. "We need to discuss the changes that need to be made to make the time of my pregnancy equal."

"Huh?" Booth asked, confused.

"While I know that you will be helpful and considerate, as always," she explained, "I believe that that does not give you a reasonable enough sense of what a woman goes through during a pregnancy."

"You're not suggesting I wear one of those fake pregnancy harnesses, are you?" Booth asked, looking a bit horrified at the thought.

"Of course not," Bones replied, thinking that suggestion was nonsensical as he already had back issues.

"Then what _**are**_ you talking about?" he asked.

"I believe that when I begin having cravings you should eat what I eat, and until that time you should share my vegan diet," she told him.

"Bones, that last part makes me queasy, but the _**first**_ part, knowing what many women crave at times, makes me want to _**hurl**_ right now," Booth shuddered.

"I think it's a great idea," Hodgins added his two cents in. If he was going to have to suffer horribly, with no satisfaction of Billy being arrested, then Booth should have to suffer, too.

"I'm packing my gun, Hodgins," Booth glared fiercely.

"No threatening the new Father," Angela glared at Booth.

"Sorry, Hodgins," Booth grumbled, not really meaning it at the moment, but the man was a good friend, and he respected and liked Angela too much not to do as she wished.

"First, though, we should have a spa day together," Bones suggested.

"A spa day?" Booth smothered the squeak that threatened to break free. He never could understand all that froo froo stuff.

"We can schedule one for tomorrow as we have two more days off," Bones told him.

Angela grinned and leaned in to Bren. "They're having a special on full treatments all this week at our spa," she told her best friend. "Think he can handle it?"

Bones grinned. This could be fun. She'd only been joking to see what Booth's reaction would be to the dietary changes, but it would be interesting to see how Booth would handle a couple of aspects of her usual spa days. "I think so," she told her. She stood up. "Booth? I need to go by the pharmacy and pick up a prescription."

"Sure thing, Bones, and while were at it we can discuss this equality stuff," he said as he stood up. "Somehow I think our definitions are a bit different these days." He wasn't sure if Bones was just messing with him a bit, which after what they did to Sweets it was a distinct possibility, but he needed to find out. The ideas that she had mentioned were not terribly pleasant in his considered opinion.

"Good luck, Studly," Angela called out as the two walked out of the room. She smiled over at her husband. "Now, let's discuss tattoo removal."

Hodgins just groaned.

_A/N: Well, I hope this one was a good follow on to the previous one. I am hoping to have another chapter posted in a couple of days. I may have another chapter of _The Stash_ posted by then as well. Gregg._


	7. Chapter 7

_Thank you for the enthusiastic response to chapter six. Caroline is always fin to write, and messing with Hodgins was a really great time. In this one Booth has a short discussion on "equality" with Bones, and we get a glimpse of the upcoming spa day. I hope you enjoy it. Gregg._

_Disclaimer: I don't own, or profit from, these characters or franchise. No copyright infringement is intended._

Booth looked down at his plate of food and grimaced. By some miracle of God he had avoided a vegan diet, which Bones was engaging in more and more, but was stuck with a vegetarian diet. He liked meat and potatoes. Not veggies as the main course. But Bones was on some equality kick, and he was the poor sap who was stuck suffering through it.

"You know I'm going to be starving after this dinner, don't you?" he asked, a slight whine in his voice.

"That is a perfectly balanced, nutritious meal," Bones replied, hiding a smirk.

"You see, Bones, there's that word," he said in a slow drawl. "Nutritious. It even sounds horribly unfulfilling."

"But good for you," she pointed out.

"What about my highly evolved, perfectly symmetrical body is lacking because of my normal diet?" he questioned.

"Equality, Booth," Bones replied, taking a bite of her entrée.

"So my body's perfect, but we lack equality? How is making me suffer striking a blow for equality?" he questioned. He took a bite of the steamed asparagus tip dipped in garlic butter. Not bad, but he wasn't going to let Bones know that. Truth be told he didn't dislike vegetables, but he preferred to be a bit carnivorous when he had a _**few**_ veggies to round out a meal.

"Because I'll be suffering for the next eight months," she informed him.

"I thought women looked back fondly on their pregnancies," he stated, knowing that that argument would fall flat right from the start.

"That is hindsight, Booth, not an _in the moment_ reflection," she argued. "Even now, early on in this pregnancy, I am feeling somewhat off, if that makes any sense, and the hormonal imbalances are very disconcerting. It is distinctly our fault, or rather your sperm."

"Hey now, my boys did exactly what they were supposed to do, Bones," he defended the little guys. "Besides, if I recall, it was a certain beautiful, stunning, and totally _**HOT**_ forensic anthropologist who initiated the festivities that brought this on."

"And I don't regret what we did for one second," she assured him. "But men generally do not understand what women endure during a pregnancy. I feel that in order for both of us to be able to look back on this time **_fondly_**, we both need to experience as much of what the other is experiencing as possible. The one aspect that we can do that with is dietary."

"Changing my diet so radically won't bring on the **_fondness_** for me, Bones," he assured her, trying to make the point that he had a different idea about what equality means. "It'll make me hurl left and right. Now where's the love in that?"

"I'll, most likely, be suffering morning sickness, so vomiting a few times shouldn't be too much of a hardship for you," she told him, a teasing glint in her eyes and voice.

Booth cursed her hyper logical mind as it always had an argument, that, while possibly ridiculous, sounded very plausible. How the Hell do you successfully argue with that? He would probably spend the rest of his life trying to figure that one out.

"Alright, Bones, I'll go for the vegetarian diet, but could we at least modify the craving aspect so that I only have to try one bite of each new **_masterpiece_** instead of subsisting solely on that crap?" he asked thinking that it sounded reasonable.

Bones saw an interesting opening, so she took it. "If you go with me to the spa day, and no argument during the**_ entire_** time we are there, then I will make such an agreement, which I must say is an excellent compromise. I'm impressed, Booth," she said, giving him a genuine compliment.

"Deal!" Booth said firmly, somewhat shocked he'd won the argument. He offered his hand in the time honored ritual to seal the deal.

"Excellent," Bones nodded. She stood once they finished eating and cleared the table. "Now how about a nice long bath together?" she suggested.

Booth raised a brow. "Why do I feel that you're buttering me up?" he asked, suddenly a bit wary, though he did like the idea of a bath together in her massive whirlpool tub a whole lot.

"Because I'll also be determining the best design for your waxing," she told him as she walked back to the bedroom.

Booth's jaw about hit the floor. Waxing? Oh, Hell no! He got up and rapidly followed her, determined to let Junior and the Boys do the talking. "Bones?" he said as he entered the hallway. "We need to talk!"

_A/N: I know it's cruel to halt it there, but I wanted to use this as a bridge to set up the spa day. The next chapter will show what happens in the bath, and the opening gambit of the spa day. I hope you enjoyed this short one. The next one will be longer, I promise, and have a touch of BB smut, too. Gregg._


	8. Chapter 8

_The response has been tremendous. I am enjoying writing this story, and having completed _The Stash_, I am now able to focus a bit more attention on this one. In this one we see a short scene where Booth tries and defends The Boys from a wax job. I hope you enjoy it. Gregg._

_Disclaimer: I don't own, or profit from, these characters or franchise. No copyright infringement is intended._

Bones drove her and Booth to their spa day. Booth had argued, but she had shot him down with a glare when he tried his standard argument of _**I always drive**_. Arguing and bickering with Booth was a lot of fun, and she had to admit that about 95% of the strong stances she took with him were simply to enjoy the ensuing arguments. His intelligence always impressed her, and the way he used all his charms to wheedle a valid point across was very amusing. She could see where Parker got a lot of his body language and expressions. Looking over at him she chuckled at the impending doom expression on his face. She recalled the argument in the bath tub the evening before.

"_Bones?" Booth asked tentatively as he poured warm water over her shoulders just the way she liked it._

"_Mmm, that feels wonderful," she murmured, not really paying attention to what he was saying when the sensations coursing through her had her that relaxed. The feel of his firm, perfectly symmetrical body directly behind her also distracted her a bit._

"_I think we need to discuss this spa day you've got planned," he continued, trying to keep the higher octaves at bay._

"_Oh, it's going to be so enervating, Booth," she said, thinking of how much she enjoyed spa days._

"_Enervating?" he questioned. "I don't think I have that same adjective in mind, Bones."_

"_Manicures and pedicures, facials, mud baths, massage, and then the ever important waxing," she sighed. While not a fan of the waxing process herself, she preferred the finished product much more than simply shaving, or using a depilatory. Thus, she endured that last aspect of the spa day._

_Booth frowned at the whole list, outside of the massage, of course, and focused on the one item that he was most nervous about. "Now, Bones, I am willing to endure the humiliation of the whole manicure, pedicure and facial bit, as long as it never gets out, and the massage sounds awesome, even if the mud bath sounds disgusting as all Hell, but it's that last item on the agenda that I think needs a serious rethink," he told her._

"_What's wrong with getting waxed?" she asked, amused at the lengths he was willing to qualify his statements._

"_Now I know women go through all that stuff, and that's okay, but I'm a guy, Bones," he remonstrated, not really caring how sexist it sounded. "I don't need any waxing. Junior and the Boys look just fine down there."_

"_In general I have to agree," she admitted, since she actually did enjoy a bit of pubic hair on the men she was with. "But women go through an awful lot for your satisfaction, and I think it would be a good idea if you experienced that first hand at least once. So a Brazilian is in order, like mine."_

_Booth shuddered at the very thought of getting a Brazilian. "But Bones, we're talking about someone messing with the Jewels," he whined, putting in his best impression of his young son for added effect._

"_I mess with the jewels," she smirked, shifting her ass a bit, loving how he groaned, his arousal pressing against her lower back._

"_But that's pleasure, not pain, Bones," he pointed out predictably. He couldn't believe he was even having this conversation, but he knew he would cave. He had a weak spot in his makeup and it was Bones. Now that Bones was pregnant he had an even softer weak spot for her._

"_You get pleasure from me having a Brazilian," she pointed out._

_Booth sighed. He couldn't deny the truth of that. "Yeah," he said somewhat morosely, mentally apologizing to Junior and the Boys._

_Bones leaned back further into his chest, taking his arms and wrapping them around her. "Good," she said. "We go to the spa tomorrow at ten o'clock."_

"_Whoopee," Booth said sarcastically. It wasn't that he was terribly mad about this. He wanted Bones to be happy, and he also didn't want her stressing out because of arguing with him, but he had to make some noise when some pain and suffering was on the horizon for his equipment. Now the massage would be nice, though he made a note that no muscle bound freaks would be massaging Bones. Nope. Women only would be touching Bones and he would deal with the muscle boys._

Bones was thinking of how the evening ended after the bath when she pulled into the private parking facility for the spa. It was a very upscale spa, and all the amenities were provided. She looked over at Booth and smiled.

"We're here," she told him needlessly.

"I can't believe I'm doing this," he grumbled as he got out of the car and walked with her to the entrance.

Walking in they were greeted by the receptionist who smiled widely at them.

"Welcome back, Dr. Brennan," she said happily. "Angela not coming in today?"

"No," Bones said as she signed in and handed the pen to Booth who reluctantly signed his own name. "Angela had her baby just recently, but my boyfriend is here with me. We'll both be getting the full treatment, though the massage for me needs to be limited to just my shoulders and neck. I just found out that I am pregnant and a full massage is not recommended."

"Congratulations!" the receptionist said, taking a moment to look at the very handsome man beside Dr. Brennan. The good Dr. was a very lucky woman indeed. "It's nice to see couples come in for a spa day, though it doesn't happen often."

"I wonder why," Booth muttered, but shut up when Bones offered him a steely glare. He sighed.

The receptionist chuckled. She wondered how he would feel when it was all done. Most men found that they enjoyed it for the most part, and she had a feeling that this guy might, as well.

"Changing room number four is open, and I'll have Michelle come and get both of you for your manicures and pedicures in fifteen minutes," the receptionist told them.

"Thank you, Kristen," Bones smiled politely. One of the reasons she really liked this particular spa was that the staff was extremely courteous, which for a procedure like waxing made a large difference. It made the whole spa experience one to wish to repeat. She looked over at Booth and smiled. "Come on, Booth. Let's get changed into our robes and let the adventure begin."

Booth followed her down the hallway and as he came to the door that she entered he looked up at the ceiling and crossed himself. He prayed for as little pain and suffering for the family jewels as possible. He made a note to be sure and drag Bones to all the hockey, football, and baseball games that he could get tickets to. Maybe he could get some satisfaction that way.

_A/N: Would Booth cave or wouldn't he? In a lot of my stories that would be a very relevant question. I usually come down on the side of caving for two reasons. First is the humor of the situations I like to create. A shocked, and flustered, Booth is fun to write and also read. Second is that, at least in _**this**_ story, I can see Booth wanting to make the pregnancy experience for Bones as comfortable, and positive, as possible. If Bones feels the need to share some experiences with him, I can see him acceding to them, albeit reluctantly, as in this case. I hope you all enjoyed this update. Gregg._


	9. Chapter 9

_The continued interest in the story has been immensely gratifying and has been the impetus for continuing it. Thank you very much for the wonderful reviews and comments. I hope that this new chapter is just as well received. Gregg._

_Disclaimer: I don't own, or profit from, these characters or franchise. No copyright infringement is intended._

"**_Coed_** changing rooms?" Booth asked incredulously as he and Bones went into the small, but well appointed, changing room. He trusted Bones to the maximum, but the idea of anyone other man seeing her naked made his blood boil. Call him a jealous Neanderthal, but that's the way he was.

Bones chuckled. "It's a couples room," she explained. "Normally I use a single room by myself, even when I come with Angela. Do you want a room to yourself?"

Booth was not about to ask for a singles room as Bones had just removed her blouse and was standing there in her slacks and a bra. He would have to be utterly brain dead and six feet under to want to be in a different room when such a smoking hot sight was there for him to gaze upon.

"No, no," he said quickly, his eyes following her hands as she unzipped her slacks and slid them down her absolutely perfect legs. He almost had heart failure when she took off her bra and was there in just a very skimpy pair of black laze panties. "Do you have any idea how beautiful you are?" he asked, rhetorically, but he knew she would respond anyway.

"The human body is beautiful, Booth, regardless of the person," she responded in a hyper literal manner. She was teasing him, she knew, but it was difficult to resist. "Even Caroline is beautiful."

Booth felt a noticeable droop in Junior's interest level when the brief image of Caroline Julian topless and only in panties flashed in his mind. He'd have to remember that one when he needed Junior to take a quick nosedive. Not the most enticing of images, to sat the least. Caroline's beauty was of the inner kind, and Booth considered her a really incredible person who he valued as a friend. He just had no desire to see her _sans_ clothes.

"Bones, that was not an image I needed right now," he shuddered. He was shocked when he saw her put on a white terry cloth robe after putting on simple bikini bottom. "Uh, Bones, is that**_ all_** you're wearing?" he asked, his voice about half an octave higher than normal.

"Of course," she said simply. She tossed him a Speedo. "Change into that and put on the robe. Then we can go for the mud bath. And this is a **_real_** mud bath, not just a layer of mud being applied. That's one of the features of this spa that makes it so much more appealing."

Booth looked a bit horrified a the thought. "Actually get into a tub of mud?" he croaked, not really sure if he wanted an answer.

"Yes," she told him. "Now get changed so we can get on with our day. I've been looking forward to this for some time."

"At least someone has," he muttered as he quickly changed into the rather skimpy, in his opinion, swim suit and then donned the robe. All under her very probing stare, with obvious attention being paid to Junior and the Boys. He felt like a damn piece of meat on display.

Booth followed Bones to the mud room, which he noticed was well lit and appointed. The large sunken circular tub filled with a thinner than usual mud solution dominated the room and she led him to the edge. Removing her robe, she stepped in and sank down to her neck, a sigh leaving her lips.

"Ahh," Bones groaned, her head leaning back against the edge, and looking up at Booth who was still standing at the edge. "Come on in," she said, a smile on her lips. "The mud feels wonderful."

Booth sighed in resignation and removed the robe, hanging it near hers and took a step into the decidedly warm substance. Thinner than normal mud, and the feel of is on his feet and between his toes was very weird in his opinion. Not terribly unpleasant, but weird. He almost had a heart attack when there was a knock on the door and a woman came in with a silver high hat, on a short stand, with bottled water in ice. He quickly sank into the mud to his neck, embarrased as Hell.

"Here is some bottled water for yourself and Mr. Booth, Dr. Brennan," the young lady told them, a smile on her face as she'd caught a good glimpse of the very handsome and fit man in the Speedo before he'd sank down, sadly hiding such an impressive body.

"Thank you, Heather," Bones said, smiling at Booth's embarrassment. Seeing him flustered was so fun that she loved any chance to make that happen. She also felt a deep warm feeling inside knowing that he was doing all this for the simple fact that he loved her and wanted her happy. Even her _**compromise**_, which she knew was nonsensical, had been agreed to for the very same reason. Maybe she was testing him subconsciously, but she knew that he had passed long ago. She would make this up to him soon, and the _**real**_ equality would begin.

"You're welcome, Dr. Brennan," the young woman said as she laid out some fresh towels and made to leave the room. "Ring the bell if you need anything further. You're scheduled for your facials, manicures, and pedicures in two hours."

"You really shouldn't be so embarrassed, Booth," Bones chided him good naturedly. "You really have _**nothing**_ to be embarrassed about. I'm quite sure that she will pleasure herself tonight with mental images of you."

"Sorry to disappoint you, Bones, but I am not a peep show, unless it's you doing the peeping, and it's a solo audience," he said with as much dignity as he cold muster. "And what's with this damn Speedo? I hate these things."

"But I love seeing you in one," she returned, smiling. "I've spent years using _**Booth**_ to bring me to orgasm and the fantasies usually begin with you in a Speedo, or something similar."

He groaned as he pictured her using that damn dildo that she had told him she called Booth, having bought it just after having met him all those years ago on their very first case together. Junior was beginning to stir, and the last thing he wanted was for Junior to start saluting buried in mud! There was a _**much**_ better place to be buried within, and that was not possible at the moment.

"Let's move the conversation to something other than _**that**_ subject," he requested, almost pleading, actually.

Bones chuckled. He was so predictable when he would get flustered. The slightly burnished tinge to the tops of his ears when he got like that, and the usual, but not this time because of the mud, tugging of his lobe, was adorable. Not that he would appreciate that descriptive term, but she thought so anyway.

"Uh, Bones, is this very, uh, sanitary?" Booth asked. The mud felt oddly soothing, but the whole sanitary issue reared its ugly head. Whether it was the military man in him and the consequent fetish for personal hygiene that that engendered, or something else, he couldn't say, but it stuck in his mind once they were alone again.

"You don't need to worry, Booth," she assured him. "The chemical composition of this specific mixture is very healthy for the skin."

"Why does that not reassure me?" he asked rhetorically. Hey, he'd done his time in the desert and the dirt and grime of the jungle. If he wanted mud covering places it should never be found in, then he'd go back there.

"Just relax and enjoy the soothing feelings, Booth," she told him, closing her eyes and enjoying the entire experience. "Next will be our facials, manicures, and pedicures."

"Joy," he grumbled as he let his eyes close to try and sleep through this whole nightmare. But this was for Bones, so he was going to grin and bear it, but when it came to the waxing, he was going to make sure she went first, so he could make a decision then whether or not to subject Junior and the Boys to that particular horror.

"Booth!" he was shaken from his slumber.

"What?" he shot up, suddenly alert, the mud running slowly sluicing down his torso.

"We need to get out of the mud and wash off before we get our nails done," Bones told him.

Booth groaned. He knew he was thinking in terms of gender stereotypes, but when he heard the phrase get our nails done he thought of his Mother and her best friend from when he was young before his dad turned into such a drunken bastard. He watched as Bones pulled herself from the mud and couldn't help the strong undercurrent of arousal that shot through him at the site of her topless with mud covering her from neck to toe. The look she gave him forced him to pull himself out of the mud and into the open air showers at the other end of the room.

Twenty minutes later they were cleaned and robed once more, bottles of water in hand, and walking down the corridor to the manicure, pedicure, and facial rooms. Booth, who still thought the whole mud bath bit was just too weird for words, was a bit trepidatious about this one. He'd seen scenes in movies about this kind of thing and wasn't too thrilled, to be honest. Then he reminded himself who this was for, so he sucked it up and walked in with a bit of false confidence.

"Bones?" he hissed just as they entered the room.

"Hmm," Bones said, turning to face him, a smile on her face.

"I'm feeling a bit of mud in my nether regions," he said in the same low volume hiss. He did his best not to squirm and embarrass the Hell out of himself.

"You can wash off a bit when we get ready for our waxing," she told him and made her way to a reclining chair.

"You just had to remind me of that one, didn't you?" he muttered, joining her in the seat next to hers.

_A/N: This chapter I made up on my own with little or no research so I could go for the humor of it. I hope you all enjoyed it as much as I did writing it. Next up is the facials and nails. Gregg._


	10. Chapter 10

_Thank you for the great response to this story. In this one we see Booth dealing with a facial, manicure, and a pedicure. All the while he is wondering what all this is for. I hope you enjoy it. Gregg._

_Disclaimer: I don't own, or profit from, these characters or franchise. No copyright infringement is intended._

Booth had to admit that the reclining chair he was in next to Bones was very comfortable. In some ways it reminded him of that comfortable, sedentary feel of being in a barbers chair. What he was not so sanguine about was the layer of avocado on his face and the cucumber slices over his eyes. He decided to give it a minute, though, before asking her about it. The sighs coming from her told him that she was enjoying this, so now may not be the best time to bring up his squeamish discomfort. Or make any flippant comments such as _**where's the Doritos? **_He had a feeling that it wouldn't go over too well.

Bones, on the other hand, was completely relaxed. She'd seen the slight grimace on Booth's face when he saw the avocado mixture that was going to spread on their faces. She had almost chuckled, but didn't. He would soon see how soothing this was.

"So are we ready for the manicures?" the voice of the manicurist entered the room..

"Yes," Bones replied before Booth could enter in a comment or objection. She knew full well how uncomfortable he was, but she had to admit to herself that having him here with her was making her feel very comfortable, and also very appreciated.

"So, Bones, when is Max getting back from his little trip?" Booth asked as his hands were dipped into some rather viscous goop that he was sure he didn't want to ask about.

"Three days," Bones answered after thinking for a moment. The moisturizer she had her hands in felt wonderful, and had a lovely lavender scent.

"So three days until Doomsday, huh?" he said with a smirk. He was genuinely dreading letting Max know as the man was a really contradictory element in all this. He had pushed the idea of him and Bones being together all along, but he also had the overprotective Father routine down pat. The torched remains of the late, but definitely not missed, FBI Deputy Director was proof positive of that one. Booth shuddered to think what the man would do to him if he was pissed about the whole out of wedlock bit.

"It won't be that bad," Bones told him. It was interesting having a conversation without seeing him, yet being in the same room.

"Somehow I don't think you appreciate the gravity of my situation, Bones," Booth said a bit nervously. He needed Bones on his side, after all. He felt the lady remove his hands from the goop and he breathed a sigh of relief. Then he bit back a curse. "Hey!" he said a touch loudly. "That hurt!"

"I'm sorry, Sir, I'm only working on cleaning your cuticles," the manicurist replied. Maybe she had been a bit rough when her attention was more on the perfect male specimen she was working on. Not the usual male half of a couple by any means!

"Let her do her job, Booth," Bones chided, a chuckle in her voice. "You'll feel a hundred times better, I assure you."

"Bones, I was in the military," Booth shot back. "They have regulations on how to cut your finger and toenails, for God's sake. I'd like to think that my nails are doing pretty good."

"Good, but not perfect, Booth," Bones chuckled.

"Perfections is highly overrated, Bones," Booth snarked good naturedly.

The two manicurists enjoyed the banter between these two. It was different to see two people so in tune with each other that they could argue over the slightest things, and yet be in a perfectly good mood about it all.

"But striving for perfection isn't," Bones argued logically.

"True," Booth reluctantly admitted. He hated losing arguments, but he'd learned a long time ago that arguing with Bones, while a lot of fun, was mostly a losing proposition. He was still trying to find anything on the whole shrinking genitals hooey she'd spouted out a few years before. He had a suspicion that she'd made it all up just to goad him into paying all that money for organic food. As if he would really pay five dollars for a freaking tomato! No way! Junior was just fine as is, and Bones hadn't complained so far, despite the _**very**_ low number of times, at least so far, that she'd been graced with Junior's presence in all his manly glory. He made a mental note to work on increasing the number of revealings and play times that Bones got with Junior.

"I think we should discuss living together," Bones said suddenly.

Booth about had a stroke. "Uh, I thought we were going with the good old fashioned slow approach on this one, Bones," he got out, and was pleased to note that his voice maintained it's normal pitch. He was about to tell Max he'd knocked up his daughter. Adding in new living arrangements may be putting Junior and the Boys on the proverbial chopping block, though with Max it might not be so proverbial. He shuddered at the thought.

"True, but we have spent every night together since Vincent died, and now that I'm pregnant I feel we should look into living together, or at least look into finding a home for the two of us and our unborn child," Bones responded logically.

Booth didn't give in to his initial desired response which was to remind her that they were in public and that it wasn't the right place for this discussion, but knowing that that wouldn't work, he kept that thought to himself. Instead, he responded to the statement she'd made.

"That does make sense," he told her, though with reluctance. "The question is, should we buy, lease, or rent?"

"Definitely buy," Bones told him. "The market is depressed, so the prices for good home will be very reasonable. The money I will get for selling my condo will be more than enough for a good down payment, and I can shift the remaining funds necessary to purchase the home outright from some of my bank accounts."

Booth now groaned. She had, almost assuredly inadvertently, brought up the specter of money into the discussion, though to be fair he had brought up the subject of how to obtain a home. He'd come a long way since they'd fixed his plumbing after his brain surgery, and he was confident that in most instances the money she brought into the relationship would not be a problem for him, but there was still that bit of uneasiness that pervaded his senses whenever that kind of money was talked about.

"Can we talk about this tonight instead?" he asked.

Bones smiled. She knew what was on his mind and she had no intention of discussing this publicly. She intended on winning the debate about money, but she didn't want him to feel like she was using the public venue as leverage for him to agree to simply end the discussion.

"Certainly," she replied.

The next hour or so went quietly, and Booth was slowly getting used to all this. He did, however, have some difficulty with them working on his toe nails. Anyone fiddling with his feet made him nervous given his medical history regarding the old footsies. He wasn't so sure about the facial, though. It just felt too weird having what amounted to a lot of crap slathered on his face (once the avocado stuff had been removed) and worked into the skin by someone else's hands.

"Now that wasn't so bad, was it?" Bones asked him as the beauticians left the room, giving them some privacy for the moment.

"Not too bad, just weird," he told her. He saw here smirk. "I'm a guy, Bones. I'm supposed to be going for the ruggedly handsome look. Not some soft skinned pansy look."

"Well, now we move onto the most important part of our spa day," Bones told him, a mischievous smile gracing her lips. She was now going to let him have it for such a blatantly sexist, and stereotypical comment.

"Oh?" Booth questioned, forgetting the part of the day he had been trying very hard not to think about.

"Our waxing," Bones reminded him.

Booth slumped. "You just had to remind me, didn't you?" he groaned.

"After a sexist comment like that?" Bones countered. "Of course."

_A/N: Next up will be the waxing. I hope you all enjoyed this chapter. Gregg._


	11. Chapter 11

_I must pause and once again thank everyone for the extremely generous reviews and remarks that have come in as this story has progressed. What started out as a short two or three chapter story begun at the suggestion and request of a good friend, has morphed into a lengthier, and I hope more interesting story with a good blend of humor, seriousness, and fun. I hope you enjoy this chapter as much as the ones to date. Gregg._

_Disclaimer: I don't own, or profit from, these characters or franchise. No copyright infringement is intended._

"Uh, Bones, I'm not so sure about this whole idea," Booth said as he watched a woman come in with some accessories.

"I do it for you," she replied. She knew that was slightly disingenuous as she had been getting Brazilians for a number of years, mainly for herself as she liked the feel of the finished product, but also because almost all of the men she had been with liked that look. She knew Booth was in that category. It fascinated her the myriad things that sexually stimulated people, men in particular.

"Apples and oranges, Bones," Booth tried one more tack.

"People are not fruit, Booth," she decided to be literal, despite knowing and agreeing with the contrasting analogy. "I will have mine done first and you can see how baseless your fear is."

"Baseless?" Booth spluttered. She obviously wasn't thinking of the short term, and also long term, health of Junior and the Boys. But she had said she would go first and if he didn't like what he saw, then he was going to simply refuse outright. Pissed off hormonal Bones be damned! His back would forgive him a few nights on the couch if it meant a healthy and _**safe**_ manhood. It was time to man up and protect the jewels!

He watched as Bones spread apart the robe and removed her bikini bottom. He brought up that image of Caroline in nothing but a g-string and Junior practically shriveled and turned in on himself never to be seen again. Good. He was ready.

"Now ordinarily we don't do bikini waxing on pregnant women due to the increased blood flow and sensitivity, Dr. Brennan," the lady said as she laid out the cloth strips and the other accouterments.

"Sensitivity is superfluous," Bones said in her literal manner, for which she noticed Booth rolling his eyes. Inside she grinned. "As for the increased blood flow, it would be similar to the increased blood flow to the region which occurs during sexual arousal, thus I am not averse to the procedure on those grounds."

"Alright," the waxing specialist replied, shaking her head a bit. A bikini wax was bad enough in her opinion, but with the increased sensitivity involved like this? She would definitely not be having one herself if she got pregnant again.

Booth cringed. _**Increased** sensitivity?_ The very thought made him feel a bit nauseous. He gulped and continued watching as some warm cloths were placed over the area in question to help make the skin slightly more pliable. He knew he was in real trouble when he could identify why certain things were being done.

Bones relaxed as she was prepared. She really did not like the process at all, only the end result. She had always preferred the end result of a waxing as opposed to shaving or use of a depilatory. She shivered as a line of the warm wax was applied and a cloth strip placed on the wax. Steadying her breathing and focusing her attention on anything other than what was about to happen, she felt a stinging sensation in her pubic region that was much more intense than usual, but she managed to deal with it. She let out a steady breath and opened her eyes. Looking over at Booth she almost burst out laughing at his horrified look. His face was so pale it almost had a light green tinge to it.

Booth had never seen anything so masochistically nuts in his life, and he'd seen some pretty sick shit in his time. Junior was screaming bloody murder in his head to get the Hell out of this torture chamber of a room, and the Boys were singing in with some rather _**manly**_ pleas for help as well.

"Is it over?" he squeaked.

"This is only the first section, Booth," Bones told him as the next section of wax was applied.

For ten agonizing minutes Booth watched as Bones went through that hideous procedure. He almost tossed his cookies several times in the process. Each tearing off of the strip of cloth made Junior and the Boys want to crawl back up inside of him and hide forever. He was beginning to think that maybe Hodgins got the better end of the deal after all. What was a measly tattoo covering your back compared to this nightmare? He began mentally naming Saints to see if he could call upon some divine intervention so that Bones wouldn't be too pissed when he vehemently refused to go through this.

When it was finished Bones was happy. It had been much more unpleasant than usual, and she decided that during the rest of the pregnancy she would use a depilatory instead of waxing. She was highly amused at the changing facial expressions on Booth's face as she had the procedure done. He was positively green when it was finished, so she wasn't surprised at his response when she opened her eyes and looked over at him directly.

"There is no way in Hell that I will have that done to me!" Booth said in a passionate display of his best Alpha Male Neandethal-ness. Junior and the Boys were screaming their enthusiastic approval of the fact that he'd grown a set when it comes to Bones' waxing bullshit.

"How about a compromise?" she suggested.

"I live for compromise!" Booth said firmly, though in fact he despised compromise as he usually wound up with the short end of the stick when he did compromise.

Bones smirked, but the pregnancy hormones found him adorable anyway. She hated these hormonal changes! "Alright, if you agree to have the space between your eyebrows waxed, then I will personally use a depilatory to give you a Brazilian tonight at home," she offered.

"Deal!" Booth practically shouted in relief. As it was Junior and the Boys were thanking every Saint known to mankind for deliverance from such a horrific fate.

He sat back as the lady moved over to him. He watched with a silent groan as Bones covered the goods back up. He would never tire of seeing her incredible body sans clothes, and he mentally reverted back to his image of Caroline so Junior wouldn't make a surprise appearance. He cringed as the wax was applied, and then the strip of cloth. Not too bad to start, but then the lady ripped the cloth off.

"Holy shit!" he shrieked. He couldn't believe how much that hurt and that was only between his eyebrows! He glared over at Bones. "And you wanted me to get that done _**down there**_? Are you freaking nuts, Bones?"

"I think that Sweets would say that I am perfectly sane," she calmly replied.

"Somehow I doubt he would if he witnessed what I just did," Booth grumbled.

"You want Sweets to witness my getting waxed?" Bones asked, needling him a bit to see his reaction.

"Hell no! There is no way on God's green Earth that that walking pimple is going to see you naked and showing off the goods," Booth said firmly. "That's reserved for yours truly."

Bones smothered a grin. Teasing Booth was so much fun. "Alright," she conceded. "Now how about our massages to finish the spa day?"

"Most definitely," Booth said firmly. Then something caught his eye. "Bones?" he queried.

"Hmm?" she mumbled back.

"Why are my toenails pink?" he asked, trying not to sound like a chauvinist pig.

_A/N: Well, there's the waxing scene. I had to spare Booth. I just had to. I'm a guy, and I am sure any other guys out there will most definitely agree with me on that sentiment. I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Gregg._


	12. Chapter 12

_The response to the last chapter has been overwhelming. Thank you so very much everyone. I am moving this forward slightly, and this takes place later that evening back at Booth's apartment. It's short, and sets up a fun smutty next chapter. I hope you enjoy it. Gregg._

_Disclaimer: I don't own, or profit from, these characters or franchise. No copyright infringement is intended._

Booth was sitting on his couch, legs outstretched onto his coffee table, while Bones knelt on the other side of the coffee table and worked on taking that pink nail polish off his toenails. It had been a long day, and he was working on putting it behind him. The hideous image of Bones being waxed wasn't leaving his mind too easily, though. His balls felt like they were still pulled in and out of sight. Junior was screaming at him to never go into such a horrid place ever again. Booth was of a mind to agree. He'd be an Alpha Male piece of crap and protect the Family Jewels from now on. He squirmed a bit as Bones grabbed his left foot to begin the polish removal.

"Hey! Careful down there," he warned. "They're a bit sensitive, you know."

"Angela would say your being a crybaby," Bones told him as she dipped a cotton ball in some polish remover. Taking careful strokes she ran the cotton ball over his large toe nail, the pink polish coming off slowly, but surely.

"Bones, my feet have been traumatized enough in this lifetime, they don't need anymore," he countered. "Besides, that crap should never have been put on there anyway. Any clues on how that happened?"

"I told them to," she informed him with a wide grin of amusement.

"And why would you do that?" he asked looking at her like she'd just grown horns.

"I thought it would look cute," she told him, letting the pregnancy hormones dictate her response.

"Cute? You said it would look cute?" Booth asked incredulously. "I'm a guy, Bones. We are not supposed to be cute. Handsome, studly, rugged, you name it. Anything masculine, but not cute. Why couldn't you have at least chosen a better color like khaki, or camouflage?"

"No, I was curious as to how they would look in pink," she told him, chuckling at his reactions. It was only a little nail polish, after all. She decided to tease him a bit. She removed her hands and fanned herself. "It's a little warm in her this evening," she said as she began unbuttoning her blouse.

Booth's eyes widened and then focused on her fingers as they worked on the buttons. He began to breath a bit heavier when she pulled off the blouse, leaving her in a sexy lace bra. Black, of course. He could feel some stirring down below as Junior was noticing as well.

"God, you look so _**hot**_!" he said with emphasis.

Smiling, she stood up and with equal sureness and a slow steady form, she removed her slacks and heels, leaving her in her matching pair of panties and her stockings. She did a slow pirouette to let him see the whole image, loving the sharp gasp coming from him.

"You like?" she asked, her voice taking on a slightly huskier tone.

"Oh, yeah," Booth said with genuine appreciation. He mentally kicked himself for all the wasted time and bullshit when he could have been enjoying this for years if he had never spouted out any line crap. Before he could voice anymore compliments a loud banging on his door sounded out.

"_BOOTH!_" came the irate sound of Hodgins voice.

"Get in a robe and remember where we were," Booth growled at Bones and then made his way to the door. If this wasn't important he was going to get the Bug Man drunk as a skunk and get him a tattoo covering the guys entire dick. Angela would never let him near her again! Stomping to the door he yanked it open. "_**WHAT?**_" he demanded.

Hodgins didn't even hesitate. He reached to the side and yanked some scuzzy looking guy covered in tattoos into view and into the apartment. He turned and faced Booth.

"This is the deranged sleaze bag who mutilated my back!" Hodgins said loudly. "He also did the other two tattoos! I want this piece of walking garbage arrested, then we can hop on the jet and go arrest my sadist of a father-in-law!" Then he looked down. "What the Hell are you doing with pink toe nails?"

Booth wanted to scream. He also wanted to beat the crap out of Hodgins. Bones was giving him a show, while removing that crap from his toes, and Hodgins ruins the whole damn thing with his whining about some lousy tattoos!

"Never mind that damn nail polish, and if you breath a word of it to anyone I'll make sure you have a tattoo covering your dick, got it?" Booth growled.

"Got it," Hodgins shuddered. "But what about my problem? I want these jack asses arrested and thrown in jail!"

"Not going to happen, Hodgins," Booth told him.

"Booth, Angie's told me no sex until I have these tattoos removed," Hodgins pleaded. "Do you realize how painful that's going to be? Dude, I don't do pain. Someone needs to pay for this bullshit!"

Booth thought of a good idea. "Tell you what, Hodgins," he said as he placed a sympathetic hand on the other guys shoulder. "You bring torture boy over there over to Caroline's house and lay it all out for her now that you have a witness and I'll call ahead and let her know you have a case. How's that sound?"

Hodgins was afraid of Caroline, but a good word from Booth would smooth the way. "Deal!" he said. Then he turned to the tattoo artist. "Come on Numb Nuts," he said as he dragged the guy to the door. "You're about to meet your worst nightmare!"

Booth smiled when they left. He had no intention of calling Caroline. He'd let her tear a strip off of Hodgins when he showed up at her place late at night ranting about the tattoos again. With that happy thought he went back to the living room.

"Oh, Bones?" he called out. "Your stud muffin's ready for some more attention!"

He gasped in surprise, and also appreciation, as Bones came out of his bedroom completely naked. Totally and utterly without a stitch of clothing on. In other words, perfection!

Bones smiled at the reaction. She held up a bottle and wash cloth. "And I'm ready to complete your end of the deal," she told him, a wicked gleam in her eyes.

Booth groaned, but at least it wouldn't be death by waxing.

_A/N: Next up will be the depilatory and smut, then after that the story will progress along the pregnancy, with some fun scenes with Sweets, Hodgins, and, of course, Max and Hank. I hope you enjoyed this one. Gregg._


	13. Chapter 13

_Here's a bit of fun with Hodgins as he goes with the tattoo artist to Caroline's. I hope you enjoy this one. Gregg._

_Disclaimer: I don't own, or profit from, these characters or franchise. No copyright infringement is intended._

Hodgins was practically dragging the hapless tattoo artist up the walkway of Caroline's home that she and her husband of less than a year lived in. It was a nice place, and ordinarily Hodgins wouldn't disturb her at home, but he was in a passionate, crazed frenzy to make someone pay for all his suffering, both past and future. Numb nuts here was first on the chopping block. He pulled out his cell phone and punched in a quick number.

"Dude, you did call Caroline, didn't you?" he asked when Booth picked up.

"_All set, Hodgins_," came Booth's reply. "_She's looking forward to seeing you_."

"Awesome, Man," Hodgins smiled. "I owe you big time!"

He snapped the cell phone shut and brought the walking piece of filth with him to the door. He rang the bell and knocked.

"You are _**so**_ fucked, Dude," he crowed at the tattoo artist. "The lady coming to the door is so going to make your life Hell. Just wait. You won't be taking any more rush jobs from that nut bar, Billy, ever again!" He loved the pale, sick look on the guys face. He was about to knock again when the door flew open and a sight he hoped never to see again appeared. Caroline, looking ready to kill someone, and standing there in a, ahem, sexy nightie and robe. It didn't give a good mental image, to say the least.

"Hodgins!" Caroline glared fiercely. "Just what are you doing here, and who the Hell is this?"

Hodgins understood right away what had happened. Booth had set him up! Damn! He decided to put a brave face on and get this over with.

"This sleazebag is the idiot who tattooed me three separate times!" he said firmly. "I want this jack ass arrested and a warrant signed out for my Father-in-Law's arrest! Booth and I will fly out and arrest _**that**_ sick freak in the morning."

"You interrupted my beauty sleep just so I can arrest this poor soul?" Caroline leveled a deep glare on Hodgins, deliberately using her most sarcastic tone when she said _poor soul_.

Hodgins shuddered at the phrase _beauty sleep_, but kept it together even as he took a deep gulp of air, realizing he was not going to leave here unscathed. He also didn't miss the sarcasm in her voice.

"Or what if you had interrupted me and my Hubby getting a it busy in the bedroom?" she demanded crossly. "I don't go around poking my nose into other people's business, and yet here you are with all this falderal?"

Now Hodgins was a bit sick to his stomach as the mental image of Caroline and Hubby _getting busy_ came to mind. He shouldn't be, but he was. Caroline was one of those rare individuals who were beautiful, but had been deprived in the looks department somehow. He'd never say anything about her looks, though. He wanted the few remaining unblemished body parts he had left to remain intact. So, he stayed silent like some pathetic pansy.

Caroline gave an angry sigh. "Alright, get in here you two," she ordered gruffly. "And don't expect me to change into something different. It's the middle of the damn night and I for one prefer to have on something a bit _**comfortable**_ at night."

Hodgins mentally cringed at the word _comfortable_. He only hoped that the next time Ange said she was _going to slip into something more **comfortable**_ he didn't think back on this and hurl. He could rapidly see his future sex life at this point going right down the toilet.

The next morning Booth and Bones were waking up together. Once again Booth was cursing the fact that he was waking up with Bones, but no sex to speak of. Of course they'd had sex some since the pregnancy thing came about, but last night when he was recovering from the horror of a spa day? Nope. Nada. Zilch. And all because of another little horror called a depilatory. He shuddered as he recalled the events of the evening before once Hodgins had been sent to his doom.

_Booth noticed the glint in Bones' eyes and he gulped nervously. He also knew full well what was in that damned bottle and he wasn't too thrilled. But a deal was a deal. He'd told her, if he was able to avoid all that waxing bullshit, that she could give him a Brazilian with a depilatory instead. Now it was time to man up and fulfill his part of the bargain. After all, she'd been a trooper and actually got waxed in front of him despite all the pain and horror involved. Being honorable sucked, in his humble, current opinion, but he was honorable anyway, so now was the time to be honorable again._

"_What's in the bottle, Bones?" he asked, moving this along with almost glacially slow speed._

_Bones walked further into the room, her breasts swaying slightly with her movement. She put an extra bit of movement in her hips, too, for added effect. She could see a delightful looking bulge forming in his sweat pants._

"_A depilatory," she replied, stepping up to him, leaning in slightly so that her nipples lightly brushed against his abdominal muscles. She shuddered at the arousal that shot through her when she did so, and noticed his sharp intake of breath, as well. "It's time for your Brazilian, Booth," she let him know, giving a glance downward at the bulge._

_Fuck being honorable! It was time to protect the Jewels again!_

"_Now, Bones, I really think that this isn't such a great idea," he pleaded his case. Junior and the Boys were screaming at him to quit being such a pathetic pansy already and just say no! _

"_But, Booth, you promised," Bones said in her most alluring voice. "It will also let me have some time to play with your very impressive manhood. Think of it, Booth. My hands all over your cock and balls, my hot breath blowing air along your length, and then using my lips and tongue to slowly bring you off. Isn't a little concession in the form of a Brazilian worth that kind of attention?"_

_Now this just wasn't fair! What sane, heterosexual guy could possibly refuse such a litany of pleasure like that? Booth was fast coming to the conclusion that when it came to the whole convincing game, Bones had a decided advantage. Not that he didn't have some weapons at his disposal, too, but they were more in the way of _**during**_ the festivities kinds of weapons. Not ones like hers that could come out and do their damage _**before**_ things really got started. Time to be a man!_

"_Do your worst," he said as he lost the sweat pants and sat back, legs spread open displaying the goods._

_Bones frowned. "My worst? Why would I do my worst when my best is so much better?" she asked._

"_It means, oh never mind," Booth sighed. "Let's get this over with."_

_Bones smiled. "Alright," she told him. She pulled out some scissors. "Time for a pre-depilatory trim, Booth," she explained._

_Booth's eyes widened at the sight of those _**things**_ near Junior and the Boys. "Hell NO!" he said. "There will be no sharp instruments anywhere near my magnificent manhood!"_

"_Don't worry, I'm an expert," Bones informed him, interested to see what he would say to that one._

"_You may be, but that is with those things near your female parts, not the Family Jewels," he parried back. "Besides, I already have a highly evolved male body, why try to do something that may damage said evolution?"_

"_Because the sex afterwards will be the most incredible you've ever had," she suggested, a lusty, sultry look gracing her features._

_Booth gulped. See? She had all the right weapons while he had zilch. Life just wasn't fair in a battle between the sexes when it came to a _**legitimate**_ debate._

"_Trim away, just make sure that no skin is in the line of fire, Bones," he acceded._

Booth could tell that Bones was waking up. He moved slightly, but was careful. His sensitive bits were on fire after the hellish experience of the night before.

"You said the sex would be incredible, Bones," he chided carefully. "Instead I have a Seeley Junior and Boys on fire from that shit you slathered on after trimming down the light covering."

"Are they still inflamed?" she asked. She had forgotten that depilatories took some getting used to as the chemicals were potentially capable of irritating the skin. Booth hopping around yelling like a Banshee that his dick was on fire had been both humorous, and a bit frightening. She really hadn't meant to hurt him.

"Based on how they feel right now, I'd say they're pretty well fried," he groaned. "It feels just like the first time I ever put on aftershave when I was a kid. My cheeks never burned so dam much in my life. I guess it's now Junior and the Boys' turn."

Before she could respond her cell phone rang. She reached over and picked it up.

"Hello?" she said, not having looked at the caller id.

"_Dr. B, can you go check on Ange and the baby this morning_?" A rather subdued Hodgins asked.

"Of course, but won't you be there before too much longer?" she asked.

"_Well, uh, I won't be able to until the magistrate arraigns me_," Hodgins replied, his voice sounding more and more reluctant.

Bones' eyes widened. "What are you being charged with?" she asked. She heard Hodgins sigh deeply.

"_Threatening a Federal Prosecutor, impersonating a law enforcement officer, sexual harassment, and pretty much anything else that Caroline can think of to charge me with_," Hodgins admitted. "_You can thank Booth for not calling ahead which resulted in my interrupting her beauty sleep_."

"I will go to the hospital and check on Ange for you, and I will send Booth to talk with Caroline personally," Bones told him, glaring at Hodgins. "Everything will be alright."

"_I hope so_," Hodgins said, almost crying. "_I just spent the night in the drunk tank with a bunch of guys, one of whom puked all over me_!"

"Booth will make amends," Bones said as she shut her cell phone, ending the call. She turned a glare on Booth. "You will convince Caroline not to charge Hodgins with anything."

Booth looked a bit remorseful, though he wasn't sorry. The guy had interrupted the festivities and hastened the horror. But he wanted to have sex with Bones again when Junior and the Boys had recovered. "Alright," he said as he threw the blanket off of them, and looked down on the damaged goods. Still a bit pink and sore, but at least not the flaming sting from the night before. He wondered if he was going to survive this pregnancy.

_A/N: Probably not the best chapter in the world, but I wanted to have some fun with Booth and Hodgins, plus add in Caroline again. I hope you enjoyed it. Gregg._


	14. Chapter 14

_I'm glad that everyone enjoyed the latest chapter. It was fun bringing Caroline back in. Hodgins is not too lucky thus far, and likely won't be feeling lucky for some time given that he's heading for tattoo removal surgery, but life does move on. Here's another chapter for your enjoyment. Gregg._

_Disclaimer: I don't own, or profit from, these characters or franchise. No copyright infringement is intended._

It took several hours of listening to Caroline chewing him out for sending Hodgins over to her place the previous night before she would relent and drop the charges against Hodgins. Booth hadn't been the recipient of an ass chewing like that since he had pulled some strings on Bones' brother's behalf that one time. Booth shuddered when Caroline said that she had been caught in her "unmentionables" by Hodgins and that piss ant tattoo artist when she had opened the door. Booth filed that image away for when he needed some fast nose dive action from Junior. It joined the image of Caroline in nothing but a g-string in the same mental file. He had just arranged for Hodgins release, carefully avoiding seeing the man, when he felt a hand on his shoulder just as he was leaving the building.

"_Booth!_" came the always cheerful voice of one Max Keenan.

Junior and the Boys crawled back up inside and decided to hide out until the coast was clear. Damn it! He wasn't supposed to see Max until Bones was with him. He had also thought that the man was on a short jaunt with his main squeeze. Turning around with a smile of his own, he saw that Max was no longer in the wheel chair. Great. The man was back in trim.

"Hey, Max," Booth said, a fake smile plastered on his face.

"So, I hear congratulations are in order, Son," Max said, his smile still firmly in place.

Booth about lost control of his bowels, and the Boys shrank even further back inside. "I swear, Max! Bones came to me! I even used protection!" he let loose as rapidly as he could in one breath, desperate to save his skin. He made a note to hightail it to confession and add in a few things he forgot to mention in his last little chat with Father Mitch. It seemed his karma was so bad that he needed a bit of help.

"Tempe's pregnant?" Max asked, his brows nearly in his hairline.

_Oh Shit!_ Booth about had heart failure when he realized that Max had been talking about something totally different. As it was he was barely able to stay standing in light of the stroke he felt coming on.

"Yes?" Booth offered with a small shrug. He was beginning to really sweat now.

Max smiled even wider, his hand squeezing Booth's shoulder. "Let's go get a bite to eat, Son," Max said happily. "It looks like we have a couple of things to discuss."

"Whoopee," Booth mumbled as Max led him away.

While Booth was being led away by Max, Bones was enjoying a fun visit with Angela who was going to be allowed to leave the hospital, finally. Due to some initial complications, and a minor infection, she had been kept in the hospital for observation for a few extra days. The baby was doing well, and would be going home with her. She was only waiting for Hodgins to arrive.

"God, Sweetie," Angela stared incredulously at her best friend. "I can't believe that you didn't warn Booth about depilatories." She paused, and then got an evil grin on her face. "But it sure would have been fun watching him clutch his package and hopping around like that."

Bones chuckled. "It was amusing," she admitted. "Of course he wasn't too happy that the post Brazilian activities had to be struck from the agenda."

"You're going to have to make it up to him big time, Sweetie," Angela told her. She punctuated it with a pointed look.

"I'm looking forward to it," Bones replied, a smug, happy look on her face.

"I can't believe Hodgie got arrested," Angela groused.

"It was Booth's fault, and he's taking care of it," Bones assured her.

"Angie!" Hodgins strode into the hospital room at high speed.

Angela decided to have some fun. "You better have a damn good explanation, Hodgie," she told her husband in a fake stern voice. "Sexual harassment? Caroline? You'd rather have sexual thoughts about Caroline in her unmentionables than me?"

"What?" Hodgins squawked. "I never harassed anyone! Especially not Caroline! And I _neve_r want to even**_ think_** of Caroline in her unmentionables! Tell her Dr. B. It's all Booth's fault! Because of him I spent the night in a drunk tank where some schmuck puked all over me!"

"Likely excuse, Hodgie," Angela shook her head. "Imagine. A big, wealthy guy like you trying to lay the blame on some other guy. I just don't know sometimes. Maybe I should call Dad and let him sort this all out."

"_**NO!**_" Hodgins bellowed in fear. He'd had enough of that sadistic freak Billy to last a lifetime!

"I wonder what will happen when he finds out you were making eyes at another woman," Angela shook her head again, trying to contain her laughter at the pale look on Hodgie's face.

"Another tattoo?" Bones ventured a guess, amused herself at the antics and wanting to help Angela. Hodgins had interrupted her and Booth at an inopportune moment the night before, after all.

"Probably covering his ass," Angela continued, looking over at Hodgins ass. She licked her lips. Damn! Hodgie had one fine ass in her opinion.

"I am so doomed," Hodgins groaned as he sank into a seat. He didn't even notice the small chuckles from the two women in the room.

"So, Booth," Max said, sitting across from Booth in the Diner. "You got my baby girl pregnant, and not a wedding ring on her finger, huh?"

"Max," Booth began. "You know as well as I do that I'd marry Bones in a heart beat! But she doesn't believe in marriage! Believe me, I know. She's always going on about it being an archaic, and a barbaric, institution. How the Hell does someone get married in the face of that?"

"Have you even asked her?" Max asked, still smiling.

Booth would love to bludgeon that smile right off of Max's face, but kept his temper reigned in. It wouldn't do to have Junior and the Boys ripped off before he could really enjoy the benefits of his new relationship with Bones. They were in bad enough shape as it was.

"Well, no, but that's beside the point," Booth argued. "She's happy. I suffered through a spa day, and had the jewels fried to within an inch of their ever loving lives! I should think that's a pretty damn good statement of my intentions."

"Close, but no cigar, Booth," Max said, taking a sip of his coffee. He stood up. "At least ask her, Booth. Think about it."

Booth watched as Max walked out of the Diner. He slumped. Would this day ever get better? Putting some money on the table, he walked out of the Diner to head over to the nearest jewelry shop. Better not keep Max waiting. If he wanted Old Seeley to get shot down in flames, then that was going to be what he got. No sense in putting Junior on the chopping block any more than necessary, after all.

_A/N: Now Max knows, and has given Booth his marching orders, Hodgins is ready to curl up and cry, and Bones and Angela are happy as clams. Now the story can progress. I hope you enjoyed this one. Gregg._


	15. Chapter 15

_Now that A Priest's Perspective is finished, I can get back to this one and see what happens to Booth, Sweets, and the rest. I hope you enjoy this new chapter. Gregg._

_Disclaimer: I don't own, or profit from, these characters or franchise. No copyright infringement is intended._

Booth was driving down the road and pulled out his cell phone and sent a quick text message. It was to Sweets.

_Sweets! Get off your ass and meet me at the jewelers! Booth._

Then he sent another text to Bones.

_Bones. Got an errand to run. BTW. Max knows. Do you know where my cup is? Booth._

The whole way to the jewelers he grumbled. It just figured that he would misunderstand what Max was getting at and announce that Bones was pregnant. Now he had to grow a set, buy yet another ring, and then get turned down for a third time in this lifetime when proposing. And for what? So he didn't have Junior and the boys ripped to shreds at the hands of an angry father. He decided that before he faced Bones to get shot down he would stop by the church, go to confession, light a candle, and then see Bones.

Pulling up in front of the jewelers he saw Sweets waiting for him, a nervous look on his face. Booth grinned smugly. Obviously his and Bones little joke had had the desired effect. Sam Cullen had called them later in that day and filled them in on a crazed Sweets bursting into his office swearing by all that's Holy that he had done no such thing regarding Booth and Brennan. Cullen let Booth know that he had video of the whole thing and Booth was planning on making it the prime feature in movie night with Bones that weekend. Just as he was getting out of the SUV his phone vibrated and he checked to find a text message from Bones.

_Booth. How did Max find out? We were supposed to tell him together. I think you deserve to be punished. Be prepared for a little pony play tonight. Bones._

Pony Play? Shit! Booth had no desire to be abused like those sick fucks they investigated that one time! Now a little Ride 'Em Cowgirl action in bed position-wise wasn't a bad idea, or even the tried and true Reverse Cowgirl, but Pony Play? No way! Besides. Junior was still a bit raw from that depilatory shit! Then he recalled that none of those pony perverts were actually having sex. Damn! He was so screwed. And whipped!

"Please tell me you're not doing what I think you're doing," Sweets pleaded. He had no desire to see Booth crash and burn again and then blame him for all his woes.

"Man up, Sweets," Booth barked out firmly. "Max expects me to propose, even if I go down in flames, so that means you get to be with me while I spend way too much money and go further into debt. Got it?"

"Yeah," Sweets groaned.

Meanwhile Hodgins was trying to get Angela to see reason. It wasn't going to well.

"How about I tape a shroud over my right shoulder and back when we get it on?" he proposed.

Angela quirked an amused brow. "A shroud? Sorry Babe, I like my man naked when bumping uglies," she told him.

"But Ange, I did some research on this," he said as he pulled out some pamphlets and some write ups from a skin specialist he contacted. "First, we are talking some serious pain. You and I both know I'm a wimp when it comes to pain and suffering. A total pussy, Babe."

"Ain't that the truth," Angela chuckled as she recalled the time she tried to shock him and spanking his ass lightly with her hand. You'd have thought she'd shoved a cattle prod right into his balls!

"This is not a laughing matter, Ange," Hodgins glared. She just didn't get it. "And then there's the possible, no, probable scarring from the procedure. Now do you want all this studly glory to be marred like that?"

"Booth has studly glory, Babe," Angela teased him. "You have some muscles, and some definition, but studly glory? You need some work for that one."

"This is a total conspiracy," Hodgins exclaimed with a whine. "You passed signals with Billy, didn't you? You and Brennan are both on some equality kick! You suffer through child birth, so I get to be scarred for life!"

"Bren said she knows a skin graft specialist," Angela offered, very amused that he'd turned it into one of his hair brained conspiracy theories.

"I don't want any skin grafts, dammit! I want my sadist Father-in-Law arrested and in jail!" Hodgins exclaimed in an almost shout.

Angela got an evil smile on her face. She knew just what to do. "I'll tell you what," she said, a sly look on her face as she looked him square in the eyes. "You get a genuine Brazilian wax job at the spa, and I will _**consider**_ other alternatives about the tattoos."

Hodgins paled. Booth had told him about the horrors of the waxing stuff he'd witnessed on Brennan, and Hodgins wanted no part of that! "_**NO!**_" he said firmly.

"But it would make you more of a man's man that Booth who chickened out, Hodgie," Angela wheedled, hitting him right where he lived. "Think of it, Hodgie. Total bragging rights, and Booth won't have a good comeback."

That halted the next words that were on the tip of his tongue. Hmm. More of a tough guy than Booth? Now that sounded pretty cool. And it would, _**possibly**_, allow him to avoid the further mutilation of his body. He could even give Booth shit about it for a long time after that Caroline bullshit he let him suffer through the night before.

"Bring it on, Baby!" Hodgins said as he took a deep breath and wondered how the Hell the birth of his son had turned his life into such a nightmare on the outside.

Booth emerged from the jewelers with the perfect ring. White gold with diamonds inset in the band so that she could, on the miraculous off chance that she said yes, wear the ring while she had her latex gloves on. He mentally added up his bill from the two rings he'd bought this year and groaned. There was no way he was going to whine about it. If there was one thing he was going to do himself, it was pay for any and all engagement/wedding rings. Even if it did massacre his monthly paycheck.

"You know, Booth, this is something that we should really talk about," Sweets was practically pleading when he exited the shop next to Booth. He could only imagine the destructive mayhem that Booth would unleash on him if he got shot down this time, and this time around it wasn't even his advice that was motivating Booth.

"Sweets," Booth said with a deadly look at the twelve year old. "I would like to have my reproductive organs intact now that I have, at long last, Bones. Pissing Max off and getting Junior and the Boys crushed like walnuts won't allow for any further bliss. And since I can't blame Max, you're next up, Sweets."

"Joy," Sweets muttered. He sent up a silent plea to whoever was listening for a massive miracle to happen and Brennan say yes. He also decided to go and see Daisy for a quickie since he was probably not going to be able to perform ever again once the hammer falls on Booth's proposal.

"I'll let you know how it turns out, Sweets," Booth said from the SUV as he drove off to face Bones.

"Definitely going to see Daisy," Sweets said as he got in his car and sent a text to Daisy about possibly paying _LANCELOT_ a quick visit. A moment later he got a very positive and enthusiastic text back telling him to get his cute butt over to her place pronto.

A couple of hours later Booth finally made it to Bones' apartment. Hacker, that waste of skin, had called him up and insisted he get over to the Hoover building for some finishing touches on some paperwork that apparently had to be done right then. He wanted nothing more that to rip Hacker's nuts off and feed them to him, but then he would be out of a job, so he put his more murderous impulses in check. He'd get the last laugh, though, when he would finally be able to gloat that Bones was his, not Hacker's. That would put that pathetic pansy in his place!

"Booth!" came the dreaded voice of Max.

"Max!" Booth said in a decidedly unenthusiastic tone of voice as he saw the man coming from the elevator.

"Give any thought to what we talked about, Son?" Max asked, a knowing look in his eyes. He really liked Booth, but wanted to make sure that his daughter was treated right and done right by. She may say no to a marriage, but she deserved to be asked.

Booth got a sickly smile on his face and showed off the ring to Max. "On my way up to get shot down in flames, Max," he said with a resigned note.

"Very nice, Son," Max said after a moment of looking at the ring. It showed that Booth was thinking of the very practical aspects that would appeal to Tempe when it came to hand jewelry.

"I'd love to stay and chat, Max, but I gotta go up and face Bones," Booth said finally as he snapped the ring box shut.

"Good luck, Booth," Max said with clap on the man's back.

"I'm gonna need it," Booth muttered as the elevator door shut and the lift went up.

_A/N: I know, kind of cruel to leave it off here, but I want a chapter by itself for the proposal and what happens next. So. Should she accept or not? I haven't decided yet, so suggestions would be greatly appreciated. I hope you enjoyed this one. Gregg._


	16. Chapter 16

_I decided to do a humorous one on this chapter reminiscent of my story The List, which at some point in the near future I will be getting back to. I sincerely hope you enjoy this one. Gregg._

_Disclaimer: I don't own, or profit from, these characters or franchise. No copyright infringement is intended._

Booth took a deep, soul searching breath before raising his hand to knock on Bones' door. Max had seriously freaked him out, and now he was doing something he was sure was going to go badly. But, Junior and the Boys were in the drivers seat on this one as they had the most to lose if he didn't man up and do right by Bones, whether she agreed or not. He knocked firmly, much more firmly and dominant than his inner Neanderthal was completely comfortable with given the circumstances.

"Booth!" Bones said with a wide smile as she opened the door to find him there. She had a plan and his being here right now was perfect timing. She'd been wondering what was taking him so long.

"Hey, Bones," Booth said, and was suddenly on the receiving end of a searing kiss, tongue and all. Now this he could live with, oh, say 24/7 for the rest of his life. "Wow," he said breathlessly as she released him, but still stayed glued to him, her breasts pressed firmly into his well defined torso. He made a promise to light some more candles and let the Man Upstairs he'd had an awesome say when he created Bones.

"I've been waiting for you," Bones lightly chided, adding a teasing quality to her voice.

"It's all Hacker's fault," Booth told her directly. "That waste of skin called me in and insisted I do some paperwork. How about you go over there and do some of that karate stuff? I'd pay good money to see him writhing in pain with you standing over him with your heel pressed against his throat."

"Andrew is not that bad," Bones further teased him as she walked back into the kitchen. She didn't like Andrew either, and to this day she was not happy with herself over the fact that she let herself accept a date with the man with the likely sole purpose of breaking her celibacy. Thankfully that one date had been interrupted while they were at the restaurant.

"He's a putz who doesn't deserve to be a junior agent, let alone an ADD," Booth spat out, letting his enmity toward the man show through. Of course he'd hate anyone who had ever been pining over Bones, but Hacker was also professionally a complete waste. That rankled Booth even more.

"You have a choice," Bones said as she put some food on the table for them. Mac 'N' Cheese, some tofu for her, and a steak for Booth. A nice salad rounded out the meal along with some garlic bread.

"Nice," Booth's smile erupted when he saw the offering on the table. Then her words registered. "Choice? What choice?"

Bones pulled out some papers. "You can either suffer through some pony play for letting Max know, or we can work out the details of our relationship. I have some notes here so we can begin working on the details," she told him.

Booth shook his head to clear it. "Uh, _**no**_ on the pony play, but you want to negotiate a _**contract**_?" he asked.

"Just so we each know what's expected of this relationship," Bones explained. "I feel that a few details worked out in advance would alleviate some of the more problematic issues that may arise."

Booth just wanted to get to the part of the evening where he could make Max happy by proposing, and then be miserable after Bones shoots him down. But, like with everything else with Bones, nothing ever really worked on schedule.

"Contract it is," he sighed as he dished up an extra massive helping of Mac 'N' Cheese. He had the feeling that he was going to need the sustenance.

"Sex," Bones said suddenly as she took a bite of tofu.

Booth almost choked on the bite of steak he'd just taken when she said that. "_**Sex?**_"

"Yes, sex," Bones continued. "I feel that we should be working on making up for all the lost time we could have been having sex, or making love, over the past years. To that end I propose we have sex a minimum of ten times a week."

Booth felt a stroke coming on. _Ten_ times a week? _**Minimum**_? It may not seem like too much to many out there, but Bones was a human dynamo when it came to sex and their couple of times so far had been _**very**_ strenuous.

"_Minimum_?" he questioned, his voice a bit of a high squeak right then.

"I had considered twenty, but we both have jobs that require we be at our best since we are helping victims of the horrors of violent crime so some sacrifices need to be made," she reasoned.

"Real big of you, Bones," he muttered. Ten times a week was more than most people he knew were getting out there, even those in solid relationships.

"Also, I enjoy sex in the morning, so at least half of the time it should be when we wake up," she added.

Booth calculated when that would mean getting up considering that she was one of those who enjoyed lengthy sex sessions and groaned. "You want me to wake up at four in the morning five times a week?" he asked.

"I was thinking more in terms of three in the morning, but I suppose four would work for a short session," she observed.

"Three in the morning?" he exclaimed. "That's nuts!"

"It's called making up for lost time," she countered.

Booth thought of Max if his baby girl was pissed, so he did the only manly thing he could. "Agreed," he caved.

"Next, I think we should live here until we are able to find a house to purchase that we can both agree on," she suggested. She had thought long and hard on that one, and thought it was a good compromise. Her apartment was large enough, while his was too small and she would have to put most of her valuables in storage.

"That sounds okay," he said after a moment of thinking on it. "But we come up with a reasonable split on the financing of the home."

"Agreed," Bones said with a smile. Then she got a nervous look on her face. "Religion is something we should discuss as it relates to our child, or children if we have more than just this one."

Oh, yeah. That one sure was a doozy. Booth internally grimaced over it. He had very real, and defined views on that, and he also knew that Bones had equally real and defined views. What's more, he could appreciate her stance, even if he didn't agree with it.

"I won't lie to you, Bones," he said finally. "I would like our children raised Catholic. Whether they fall away from the Church when they are older is up to them, but I would like to see them raised within the teachings of the Church."

Bones nodded. "I can agree with that on one condition," she told him. "They will receive a secular education. They will not be pressured to accept a religious belief. I have no problem with them attending Mass each week, going to catechism, and so forth, but their education will be secular. It will give them an opportunity to choose for themselves when the time is right. I will also not lie to them about my personal beliefs on the matter."

"Agreed," Booth said instantly, knowing that that would be about the best that he could possibly hope for on that subject.

For the next hour they discussed a myriad of things, mostly boring in Booth's opinion, like how to divide up space in the bathroom. Surprisingly, to his shock, they were in fair agreement on almost everything. Bones had obviously spent a great deal of time working on this, and not just that day.

"And that brings us to the final item," Bones said as she ate the last bite of the chocolate mousse.

"Hallelujah!" Booth said with a wink, telling her he was kidding.

"Will you marry me?" Bones asked.

Booth nearly had that stroke. He choked on his beer. Wiped his eyes that teared up. Coughed for a few moments and then gaped at Bones. "Huh?"

"I asked if you would marry me," Bones replied, amused at his reaction.

"Marriage?" Booth managed to ask, though he should be down kissing her feet and handing her the ring post haste.

"Yes, marriage," she told him. "I told you once that if I had a good enough reason, then I would consider marriage. I have found that you are a good enough reason. You, and you alone."

Booth now was tempted to reach up and pinch himself to see if this was real or some dream, but he didn't. Instead he reached in his pocket, went over next to where she was sitting, and opened the box.

"Now, Bones, we are going to do this right," he said as he got down on one knee. He knew she would not appreciate the traditional BS, but she was getting a traditional kind of guy, so she would have to live with it. "Temperance Brennan, will you fulfill my most cherished fantasy, and make me complete for the first time in my life? Will you marry me?"

"Will you sign the contract?" she countered, looking at him in all seriousness.

"Yes," he said without a hint of the frustration he was feeling. There were more important things going on right then than a damn contract.

"Then yes, I will marry you," Bones said, a smile gracing her features. The smile widened even further when she watched him place the ring on her finger. It was perfect. He had gotten her the perfect ring for the kind of work she did, and she would not have to take it off.

"Now just so you know, Bones, I am in no way claiming ownership by you wearing this ring. It has nothing to do with that kind of bullshit in my opinion, so you don't have to worry about me being some kind of old fashioned jack ass when it comes to marriage," he immediately moved to assure her.

"Just make sure you keep on being an Alpha Male Neanderthal in the bedroom so I have some hot, energetic sex whenever I want it," Bones teased.

"Now that I can promise," Booth said as he leaned up and kissed her deeply. "For now, though, how about we sit down and watch a movie? Junior is still a bit fried from that stuff you slathered all over him and the Boys, so getting on with the making up for lost time sex will have to wait."

"As long as you give me some mind blowing orgasms with your expert fingers and tongue in the mean time," she told him as cleared off the table and went into the kitchen. "Just sign the amended contract and I'll be right there."

Booth grumbled a bit as he whipped out a pen and signed the damn thing, already working on how he could get her to dump the whole thing and live spontaneously. Then he whipped out his cell phone and sent two text messages.

_Sweets! Your cajones are safe and sound. She said yes. Just don't fuck any of this up and you're home free! Booth._

_Max! Good news. By some miracle of God she proposed to me! Imagine that? Oh well. No need to cause me any bodily harm, so put away any torture implements. Booth._

Across town a sweaty, satiated Sweets was breathing heavily as Daisy lay curled up beside him. When his phone beeped that he had a message he groaned. Grabbing the phone, and praying for a miracle, he opened the message and about had heart failure. Then it sunk in.

"_**YES!**_" he shouted with a fist pump, startling Daisy awake.

"Lancelot?" she asked, a bit wiped out from the very enthusiastic session they'd just had.

Sweets smiled at her. "How about an all nighter, Baby? I feel inspired!"

Daisy suddenly got a second wind. "Is my Lancelot ready for a bit of Pony Play?" she asked, reaching over and pulling a riding crop out from her bedside bureau.

Sweets gulped. "Yes," he managed to get out in a very soft, almost nonexistent voice. He was going to get Booth for this if it was the last thing he ever did.

_A/N: Well, I hope you enjoyed this one. I put some humor, as well as some seriousness in it. I should have another chapter done in a few days. Gregg._


	17. Chapter 17

_Thank you for the wonderful reviews and response to the previous chapter. I decided to write this short one up as a filler, but also because I couldn't resist seeing how Sweets was the next day. I hope you all enjoy it. Gregg._

_Disclaimer: I don't own, or profit from, these characters or franchise. No copyright infringement is intended._

Sweets was moving a bit slow. Every move seemed to bring forth a new ache and pain to deal with. He was definitely going to have to have a short, but firm, talk with Daisy letting her know that Pony Play was a no no from then on. She'd been wanting to try it for as long as he'd known her, but he'd always said no until the night before. He grimaced as he gingerly sat on the air pillow he'd brought to work with him.

"_Sweets!_" bellowed a voice he did not want to hear that day.

Stifling the gasp he'd almost let loose at that moment from the sharp sting from his ass, he looked up and saw Booth and Brennan right there. He stopped himself from glaring at Booth, who he blamed for getting him into this situation.

"Booth, Dr. Brennan," he said lightly, trying to shift slightly and get some of the weight off of the wounds. Daisy had been a bit _**enthusiastic**_ with the riding crop the night before when she was _riding her stallion_.

"Are you alright, Sweets?" Bones asked. She looked at him carefully, noting the off posture, and the wriggling he was doing in his chair. She also noted the air pillow.

"Not really," he admitted, knowing that Brennan would press and press until he caved anyway. She noticed everything.

"So what happened, Sweets?" Booth asked. Normally he wouldn't even bother, but he was in too good a mood right then. He was engaged to Bones! Nothing could ruin his mood.

"I was with Daisy last night and I was in an awesome mood when I got your text about the good news so I agreed to let her try some Pony Play," he admitted. "She got a little overzealous with the riding crop."

Well, there was that. Booth's mood took a definite nosedive on hearing that, and his mind strove to blank out the _hideous_ images of Sweets and Daisy going at it. And _**Pony Play**_? He _so _did not need those images.

"I really did not need to hear that, Sweets," Booth told him with a glare.

"I could call Dr. Saroyan and have her look at your wounds," Bones offered. "Or I could, if you prefer."

Sweets looked up, a definite look of fear on his face. "No, no!" he told them. "I'll be alright! I just need a few days of easy sitting, and a lot of standing."

"And avoid overly strenuous sexual activity with Miss Wick," Bones added. "If you would like I could discuss with her some more appropriate sexual role playing activities."

Booth was enjoying that part as he watched Sweets look like he wanted to sink right through the floor in total embarrassment. Oh, yeah. Bones could embarrass someone better and easier than anyone he knew. He knew that from some horrific personal experiences. A long and lengthy discussion (or rather a monologue on Bones' part) about what women experienced during their periods, and then a lengthier _**discussion**_ about her own experiences. He almost crashed the SUV on purpose to end the droning nightmare.

"What I don't understand is why you did not use any form of safe word, or simply tell her that she was hurting you," Bones continued once he refused her offer of discussing anything with Daisy.

Sweets got a sheepish, pale look on his face. "I was wearing a ball gag at the time," he admitted.

Booth shot up. "Okay, I think that's enough discussion for today," he said quickly. He had seen Bones look of disapproval at the ball gag stuff and wanted to avoid any further talk on the subject. "Bones, we got a lot of stuff to do, so we best be going. Sweets. Sorry about the whipping, Buddy, but better you than me. Let's go, Bones!"

When they left Sweets, despite the pain, slumped into his chair. God what an embarrassing experience. He was going to have to discuss this whole role playing stuff with Daisy. He couldn't be seen coming to work after such experiences severely wounded. And for Booth and Brennan to find out? He now had a bit of a better idea of how it felt to be Booth when Brennan was off on one of her tangents. He shuddered at the thought of having to go through this ever again. And the worst thing was? He still needed to find out why the hell they scared the shit out of him like they had the other day with those fake resignations. That was**_ so_** uncool!

_A/N: As I mentioned, just a short filler. I will be getting back to B&N and some A&H soon. I hope you enjoyed it. Gregg._


	18. Chapter 18

_At long last I am now updating this one. This one deals more with Hodgins, and is a shorter one, but it moves the story forward a bit so I can begin working on the trials and tribulations that Booth will be facing, as well as Bones, with respect to her pregnancy. I hope you enjoy this one. Gregg._

_Disclaimer: I don't own, or profit from, these characters or franchise. No copyright infringement is intended. _

Hodgins was walking in an awkward, very ginger manner towards the office with the glass front wall in the Hoover Building. He'd been up here a few times, but never on personal business. Right now he wanted to do one thing, and then go home and cry like a baby. As it was sweat was pouring off his brow, and every step was an excruciating experience in pain.

"Hodgins!" Booth said and came up to his friend. He'd forgiven the man for all that bullshit a few weeks before that got him locked into going to that hideous Spa Day with Bones. "What's the matter? More Father-in-Law troubles?"

Hodgins glared at Booth at the mention of that sick sadist Billy. "I still can't believe you won't arrest that sick freak!" he said vehemently.

"Talk to Caroline," Booth told him. "My hands are tied."

"No thanks," Hodgins said as he hissed in pain when he sat down in the seat that Booth offered. "One night in the drunk tank is enough. And the last time I brought it up she was in her nightgown, robe, and cold cream spouting off about interrupted beauty sleep and getting busy with her husband."

"I did _**not**_ need to hear that," Booth grimaced. He made a note to make sure to see Bones nude before the evening was out to make sure that Hodgins' image of Caroline was thoroughly cleansed from his mind.

"You, my friend, are a total wimp," Hodgins said, leveling a look at Booth.

"What!" Booth glared. He looked left and right to make sure no one heard that their _El Supremo's_ cajones had been called into question. And by a Squint no less!

"Couldn't even manage to get a simple Brazilian wax job at a spa," Hodgins shook his head in mock disappointment.

Booth's eyes widened. "Who squealed?" he demanded. Only a couple of people were on that short list, so it had to be Bones! He could cross off the wax lady, he was fairly confident. Which meant that Bones had told Angela, which wouldn't surprise him, but then Angela had sunk the ship by blabbing to Hodgins! "And who the Hell are you to call anyone a wimp? I heard you squealed like a stuck pig when Angela grabbed hold when she had contractions!"

"She grabbed my nipple, Dude!" Hodgins defended himself. That had been one experience he hoped to avoid in the future. He'd already devised a set of steel man nipple pasties for the next time Angela possibly gave birth if they decided to have kids again.

"Tough noogies," Booth waved his hand in total lack of sympathy. "And as for the waxing, that is absolutely masochistic! I'd rather let the foot sadists have another round with my feet again!"

"Well, Dude, I manned up and got a Brazilian at the spa," Hodgins told him, a look of triumph in his voice and eyes. "Wax and all! That makes me King Stud!"

"You aren't King anything, Numb Nuts!" Booth hissed. "Bones slathered some depilatory shit all over my dick and balls! She fried the damn things and Junior couldn't perform for over a week! Go through that and then we can talk! I still freak out when I see that shit in the medicine cabinet!"

Booth couldn't believe that this conversation was even happening, let alone in his office! So what if Hodgins had a massive brain fart and had the short and curlies ripped off? Was that his fault? Hell no!

"Sorry, Dude, but I have to go with waxing on this one on the list of horrors to be avoided," Hodgins stood up looking triumphant. "Swelling in the nether regions, increased nerve sensitivity, and screaming like a baby when it happened I think overshadows your pathetic story."

Booth glared fiercely. "I've still got my gun, Hodgins," he ground out. "And a whole bullpen of armed and dangerous agents at my command."

"King Stud, Dude," Hodgins crowed as he gingerly stepped from the office, breath hitching with every painfully excruciating step. Now he needed to go home, cry his eyes out, and then brag to Angela about lording it over on Booth. He also had to begin negotiating on not having the tattoos removed and get on with the taped on shroud idea. Like he told Angela a few weeks before, when it came to pain he was a total pussy. He also would make it a point _**never**_ to step inside a spa _**ever**_ again.

Booth got his breathing under control and then whipped out his cell phone, punching in number one on the speed dial.

"_Hi_," came the sexy, sultry voice of Bones. He would never tire of that sexy tone she used now that they were together.

"I'll be there in twenty minutes ready to rock your world, Baby," he said, a husky, manly tone in his voice.

"_Don't call me Baby, and there will be no world rocking this afternoon as I am quite busy with authenticating a set of Pre-Columbian remains_," she told him.

He could hear the disappointment in her voice. "But Bones," he whined, and wheedled. "Hodgins showed up here and called my manhood into question! Called himself _**King Stud**_! I gotta prove that _**I'm**_ the head stud in this herd!"

A sexy chuckle came through the receiver. "_Do you know how sexy it is to hear you attempting to use anthropological analogies_?" she told him.

"Really?" he replied. "Cool! Twenty minutes and I'll be there!"

"_Tonight, Booth_," she told him. "_Tonight, and I'll make sure that you don't go to sleep until you are most definitely the top stud_."

"Not even a quickie in the parking garage?" he pleaded.

"_Tonight, Booth_," she told him again. "_I'll even wear my Wonder Woman costume_."

""I'll be there to take you home at five o'clock sharp!" he told her and then hung up, his mind flooded with images of her in that totally HOT Wonder Woman costume. Then he looked at the clock and saw that he had three hours until the work day was over. Damn Hodgins! This afternoon was going to seem like an eternity!

_A/N: Like I said, a short one to move the story forward a few weeks. The next chapter will be the world rocking, plus Hodgins trying to get Angela to relent on the tattoo removal. I hope you enjoyed this one. Gregg._


	19. Chapter 19

_I decided to inject some pregnancy humor into this chapter, especially as Booth and Hodgins are now vying for the title of King Stud. This one will have a scene between Booth and Bones, and then one between Hodgins and Angela. I hope you enjoy it. Gregg._

_Disclaimer: I don't own, or profit from, these characters or franchise. No copyright infringement is intended._

Booth knew he was being paranoid, but the whole conversation/debate he'd had in his office with Hodgins had weirded him out. How anyone could think of Hodgins as _**King Stud**_, even Hodgins himself, was beyond him. The little pissant couldn't even hold his liquor well enough to avoid a few measly tattoos. And if Hodgins was stupid enough to lay there and have the short and curlies ripped off in that hideous way, then Hodgins was the idiot, not yours truly. But as it was, Booth had had to spend three hours imagining Bones in that HOT Wonder Woman costume, and the promise to make damn sure that by the end of the night he would be the absolute reigning _**King Stud**_! It was the longest three hours of his whole damn life!

He arrived at the Jeffersonian and found Bones, to his complete shock, waiting for him just outside the main entrance. No that he was complaining, but it was not her usual _modus_ _operandi_. Ordinarily he had to come in and practically drag her kicking and screaming from the lab. But he wasn't going to look a gift horse in the mouth.

"Hey, Bones," he said with good cheer. "Problems in the lab?"

"No," she smiled. "I was excited about making sure you are King Stud, so I finished quickly and came out here to be ready to leave as soon as possible."

"Oh, I like how you think, Bones," Booth said as he sped out of the parking lot. He considered flipping on the siren and really getting down to brass tacks, but he held it together. He pulled into the parking garage and parked right next to her hybrid SUV. "Okay, Bones, time to get up there and make that costume come alive!" he said with enthusiasm.

"Inanimate objects don't come alive," she pointed out literally.

"They do when it's your body giving them some dimension, Bones," he told her as he scooted them into the elevator, rapidly punching the button for their floor.

Bones chuckled. "You are so illogical that you are funny," she told him.

"I aim to please, Bones," he told her, whisking her down the hall when the elevator doors opened. He whipped out his own key and opened the door. "Alright, Bones, while I have a glass of water, you can transform into our favorite super hero!"

Bones laughed at his eagerness all the way down the hall to the bedroom. Taking her costume out of it's box in the closet, along with her magic lasso, she shed her clothes and tried to slip on the outfit. Her eyes widened in shock. It didn't fit! She looked at herself in the full length mirror and for the first time really concentrated on the changes in her body due to the pregnancy. Why she hadn't before she wasn't sure, but now she did. Her breasts were slightly larger at this point. Her hips had widened to a certain extent. And she could tell that while it wasn't a radical change, she had put on a few pounds in strategic places. Now that she thought about it, her usual outfits had fit a bit tighter than usual lately, but they were loose enough that she hadn't paid too much attention to them. She cursed herself for not paying attention to such changes.

"_Hey, Bones! Loverboy's ready and waiting!_" she heard Booth call out.

For some unknown reason, though it was obviously the hormones pushing it, she began to cry. She hated this! Her body was changing. She hated change! She wanted to be pleasing to Booth, not some fat blob! Would he ever want to touch her again? All these thoughts and more ran through her mind. Her logical self would have given them short shrift and dismissed them as ridiculous, but the hormones were controlling her mental faculties. It was then that she felt her stomach lurch. Her eyes widened as she placed a hand in front of her mouth. She felt thoroughly nauseated!

"Hey, Bones? You alright?" Booth asked as he placed a hand on her shoulder.

Bones reacted in the worst possible way. She whirled, her stomach lurched one more time, and she promptly threw up all over Booth.

_**Meanwhile**_

Hodgins had finished his crying jag brought on by the horrific experience at the Spa, and was now, still gingerly, walking around their bedroom dropping rose petals all over the place and putting the bottle of champagne in the silver high hat next to the bed. He'd go for the candles, too, but figured it would be a bit too far. As it was he was going for wooing of the first order so that Angela would be in a receptive mood on the tattoo issue. Sending up a silent prayer to the Heavens, he called out to his lovely wife.

"Oh, Angie!" he said in his most manly voice. "Your manly stud muffin is awaiting your presence in the bedroom!"

The Doc had cleared Ange for sex a few days before, but Hodgins had not been able to enjoy the bliss yet because of the categorical ruling by Angela about sex and the dreaded tattoos. If that psycho Billy were there at that very moment Hodgins would grab the nearest weapon and bludgeon the freak. Hopefully tonight would be the night. He even had a shroud cut and ready to go if she agreed. Swelling and overly sensitized nerves be damned! He needed sex! He was a guy after all.

"Michael finally went to sleep," Angela said as she came into the room with their son in her arms. They had his crib in the massive main bedroom for now. She stopped suddenly when she saw the soft lighting, the bottle of chilled champagne, and the rose petals. "You actually think you're going to have sex tonight?" she asked, a little amused at the lengths to which her Hodgie was going to get laid.

"I have high hopes," Hodgins defended himself. He went over, carefully, and kissed Michael on the head, thanking the Heavens that the little guy was asleep, and then looked up into his beautiful wife's eyes. "I even have the shroud cut and ready!"

"What about the damaged nether regions?" Angela chuckled.

"I'd rather not think about that, but as the old saying goes, _**no pain, no gain**_," Hodgins told her.

"Speaking of pain," she replied, still a bit amused.

Hodgins face fell. "Oh, God, I have to get all the tattoos removed," he groaned. He could feel the blood draining from his face.

"Not all of them, just one," she informed him.

"But, Ange!" he exclaimed, though keeping the voice low so as not to wake the kid. "I just had my pubic hair ripped out! Isn't that _**enough**_ suffering?" Then a thought occurred to him. "You want me to get that massive tattoo on my back removed?" he squeaked.

"No, my poor little whipped entomologist," she said with a hand on his cheek. "Just the one of my Dad on your arm. Until that's done no sex. I won't be getting busy with my Father's face looking down on me like that."

"But what about our deal?" he croaked out.

"I said I would _**consider**_ it," she reminded him. "And I compromised. You only have to have the smallest one removed. Doesn't my **_King Stud _**have enough balls to do that for love?"

"I'll call the skin graft guy tomorrow morning," Hodgins told her, practically crying. Needless to say, this night had not ended in **_precisely_** the manner he'd planned.

_**Booth and Bones' Apartment**_

Booth finally got out of the shower after a 40 minute scrubbing session. That was after he'd ripped off his clothes and then spent an hour helping a crying, angry Bones. God what a mood killer. The Sex Goddess of your dreams throws up all over you when you're about to enjoy a little bedroom bliss.

Bones, being the contrary, difficult woman she was, was having**_ evening_** sickness instead of the traditional **_morning_** sickness. Booth, being the lucky stud with the miracle super sperm, was the lucky recipient of a days worth of food intake by Bones. Instead of getting the suit cleaned he planned on just tossing the thing and getting a new one as replacement.

Dressed in sweat pants and a t-shirt he went back out into the living room where Bones was having some diet Sprite and a few Saltines. Naturally there was no Wonder Woman suit in sight, nor anything even remotely related to sex. Nope. She was wearing a pair of shorts and an oversized t-shirt.

"Hey, Bones," he said, taking a seat next to her on the couch. He put an arm over her shoulder and pulled her in a little closer. He could see her eyes were still a bit red rimmed, and a few tears shimmered.

"I hate being so weak and emotional," she told him.

"I know," he said, rubbing his hand up and down her upper arm.

"I'm sorry, but I'm not in the mood for sex tonight," she told him, leaning her head on his shoulder.

"Yeah, well, I think being ralphed on pretty much killed the mood for me, Bones," he chuckled, though it was hard not to toss his cookies as he thought about it.

"Maybe in the morning?" Bones offered.

"We'll see, Bones," he told her. "The important thing is that you keep yourself well."

Before he could say anything else his cell phone rang next to them. He picked it up and saw that he had a text message from Hodgins. Sighing, he opened it.

_Booth- U win. U R King Stud. U at least are getting some. Hodgins. _

_PS- Can U ask Dr. B 4 the name of that skin graft guy?_

"Anything important?" Bones asked.

"Oh, just Hodgins acknowledging my all around Studliness," Booth smiled. He made a note to have a dog collar sent to Hodgins as a gift. The poor guy was a whipped puppy. He was going to leave out the part about Bones puking all over him, though. Hodgins didn't need to know that bit of info.

_A/N: There's the new one. I hope you enjoyed it. Gregg._


	20. Chapter 20

_Here's the next chapter in this story. I hope that everyone is enjoying the humor as we see Booth and Bones during her pregnancy, as well as Hodgins dealing with his own set of woes. Gregg._

_Disclaimer: I don't own, or profit from, these characters or franchise. No copyright infringement is intended._

Booth waltzed into a startled Sweets office the next morning. He had things that needed to be discussed, and it couldn't wait. Just that morning he had turned down sex from Bones. Now that just would not do! He patiently waited seven years for her, they finally do the deed and she gets pregnant, and now he doesn't want sex? How fucked up was that? As much as he hated to admit it, he needed to see if maybe he was messed up in the old brain box.

"Sweets!" he said loudly, startling the shrinky 12 year old.

"Agent Booth," Sweets said, clearly nervous. "Uh, did we have an appointment that I'm forgetting about?"

"Never mind that, Sweets," Booth waived his hand in frustration. "I need you to work your shrinkiness and see if I'm losing it upstairs."

"Excuse me?" Sweets asked.

"I need to know if I'm going nuts, Sweets," Booth said, a bit brusquely. "I just turned down sex from Bones! Only a nut would do that!"

"Okay, I didn't see that one coming any time soon," Sweets commented as his eyes widened. He was in the Angela camp on that subject, believing that the raging inferno between the two would take a decade or two to cool down. At a minimum! Not just a couple of months! "Uh, is there any performance anxiety on your end?" he asked.

"Hell no!" Booth replied indignantly.

"Then why did you refuse sex from Dr. Brennan?" Sweets asked. "Is her pregnancy holding you back? You should be aware that it is perfectly okay to have a normal sex life for most of the duration of a standard pregnancy."

"I know that, Sweets," Booth said sarcastically. "I think maybe I developed a complex."

"Over what?" Sweets inquired.

"Last night Bones tossed her cookies all over me when we were about to...uh..._**you know**_...," he managed to admit. God this was so humiliating!

Sweets barely managed to hold in the deep belly laugh that was threatening to escape. Dr. Brennan threw up all over Booth when they were going to have sex? If it wasn't for the fact that Booth could kill him in all sorts of slow and painful ways he would milk this one for all it was worth!

"And you're afraid that if you engage in sexual relations with Dr. Brennan she may do so again? Or is it that you are afraid that she is repulsed by the idea of engaging in sexual relations with you?" Sweets asked.

Booth frowned, wanting to glare, but he had to admit that those were the two things that had rushed into his mind that morning when Bones very sexily began to try and continue from the night before.

"I guess so," he admitted, feeling humiliated.

"I wouldn't worry if I were you, Booth," Sweets told him. "You experienced an extreme result of the hormonal imbalances inherent in pregnancy, and you are understandably nervous about a repeat. The feelings should pass soon, and you will be back to your normal sexual relationship in no time."

Booth leaned forward. "Are you sure, Sweets?" he asked. "Because I gotta tell ya, right now the idea of being with Bones..._**that way**_...kind of creeps me out."

"You could always throw up on her and it would be even," Sweets offered, feeling that a ridiculous suggestion may show Booth how much more he was making of this than was necessary.

"I'd never get to have sex again!" Booth said what he thought of that idea.

"So you do want to have sex with Dr. Brennan," Sweets observed.

"Well of course I do, Sweets," Booth ground out. "Now do I have something to worry about or not?"

"No," Sweets assured him.

Booth left the office with the strange feeling that Sweets was right, but at the same time somewhat discomfited that he had been discussing his sex life with the kid. Shaking his head in frustration, he made his way up to his office to grind away at the piles of paperwork.

_**At The Jeffersonian**_

"Angie!" Hodgins said in a determined voice as he barreled, as gingerly as possible, into her office holding some printouts. "I don't care about the sex anymore! There is no way I am going to go through this!" he thrust the printouts towards her.

"My Hodgie not caring about sex?" Angela's eyes twinkled. "Now that's a first."

"I just got off the phone with that so-called specialist that Doctor B recommended and there is no way I am going through that Hell!" he declared. "Especially not after what I endured yesterday at that Spa! I'm half tempted to sue those sadists for everything they've got!"

"Ellen Castillo is a world renowned specialist in skin grafting," Bones said from her seat across from Angela. She was a bit startled at Hodgins' announcement, but a bit amused, too.

"Probably got her degree from some commie torture school during the Cold War," Hodgins retorted.

"Advanced Doctoral and Post-Doctoral medical degrees from Johns Hopkins," Bones corrected.

"**_Commie Central_**," Hodgins declared ridiculously. "Look at that info! And those pictures! It's hideous!"

Bones went over and leaned down to take a better look. "These results are consistent with excellent skin graft procedures," she remarked. "Granted tattoo removal is somewhat more complicated, but the results should be quite effective, and any resulting scarring would be minimal and fade over time."

"But the pain, Doctor B.," Hodgins complained.

"Hodgie's a total pussy when it comes to pain," Angela supplied helpfully, giving Hodgins a wicked grin.

"Ange!" Hodgins cried out in complaint. "You didn't hear that, Doctor B.," he told Bones instantly. The last thing he needed was a lot of shit from Booth about something like that.

"Why do men feel the need to hide simple truths?" Bones asked aloud. "Booth was horrified about it coming out that I threw up on him last night when he came into our bedroom for a sexual rendezvous, and then this morning his not feeling comfortable having sex in the bedroom. In fact he looked ill at the thought."

Hodgins eyes lit up in glee. He didn't say anything, though. He would wait until later to use that info on Booth. The _**King Stud**_ contest was still on!

"I don't think you were supposed to say anything about that to anyone, Sweetie," Angela chuckled at the image of Booth's reaction when Bren threw up on him. The mental picture was priceless! And then the morning after. "I better calm Hodgie down. Talk to you later?"

"Before I leave for the evening," Bones promised. She left the couple and went back to her office. The last thing he heard was Hodgins whining about the injustice of it all, but still threatening to become a completely celibate husband. It would be interesting to see how this particular controversy turned out.

_**That Evening**_

Booth looked at himself in the full length mirror with approval. Yep. This should do the trick. Taking a deep breath, he walked out into the living room.

"Hey, Bones!" he said with false bravado. "How about a movie?"

Bones, who was feeling a bit queasy, unfortunately, turned to look at Booth and burst out laughing, protesting stomach not withstanding. There before her stood Booth in a Jeffersonian Hazmat suit, face shield, and heavy rubberized boots.

_A/N: There it is. Hodgins is upping the ante with Angela, Booth is now wearing a Hazmat suit at home in the evening, and we get to enjoy the comedy of it. I hope you enjoyed this one. Gregg._


	21. Chapter 21

_Thank you for the responses to the last chapter. Here's another one for your enjoyment. Gregg._

_Disclaimer: I don't own, or profit from, these characters or franchise. No copyright infringement is intended._

Booth was having the best dream ever. He'd just been part of the winning team of the Stanley Cup and Bones was there to give him a much more personal reward. The strip tease was pure perfection, allowing him to see her body in all its naked glory as she undulated to the sensual music. When she straddled him, pressing her hot pussy against his throbbing erection he knew that this must be Heaven. Before he could enjoy the rest of the dream, however, the beeping of the alarm clock woke him up.

"Damn!" he muttered.

He tried to move and turn the alarm off, but a pleasant weight was holding him down. Opening his eyes he looked up and saw a smiling Bones straddling him and looking down on him.

"Good morning," Bones said in a sultry voice. She rotated her hips slightly to create more friction for them both, and loved the quiet moan that escaped Booth's lips.

"Hi," Booth smiled. Now this was the kind of morning he was hoping to have a lot from now on. This morning he wasn't nervous, or freaked out. "Good mood?" he asked, winking at her.

"A very good mood," she told him, shifting her hips in a sensual movement, letting the excitement build. "I think I should thank you properly for last night," she informed him.

"Huh?" he asked, trying to concentrate on what she was saying despite the incredible sensations she was producing.

"For wearing the Hazmat suit," she told him, moaning as she felt her own arousal coiling even tighter.

"You mean I'm not in deep shit for it?" he asked, thanking God that the Boys weren't on the chopping block over the little joke.

"No," she chided him. "It showed me that you're here for me no matter what. I think it removed the last of my imperviousness," she added. "That deserves a reward."

"If morning nookie is a reward, then I'll have to do some more stuff for you on a daily basis," he said with a twinkle in his eyes.

Bones shifted and, placing him at her entrance, sank down on him, taking in his entire length, groaning in pure pleasure at being so deliciously filled. She fluttered her eyes open and looked down on him. "Only so long as you remember that I can take care of myself," she said as she began to slide up and down his length, her inner muscles adding to her and his pleasure. "Now show me how well we can break the laws of physics!" she ordered with a wicked gleam in her eyes.

_**Later That Morning**_

Caroline walked into Booth's office to find him practically falling asleep as he looked over some files. Shaking her head she went right over and slammed down a file, startling him out of his stupor.

"Not getting enough sleep, Cher?" she asked, a knowing look on her face. "Or is the Bone Lady keeping you up with some bedroom exercise?"

"I won't dignify that with a comment," Booth replied, knowing his face was now a deepening red and giving it all away.

"I know when Hubby and I get busy between the sheets he's a complete loss the next day, so I guess it shouldn't be all that different for you, Cher," Caroline joked. She loved giving her favorite Agent a bad time. It made her day seem complete somehow.

Booth did his best to banish the mental image that was now in his head. It ranked even worse than the nightgown and cold cream image that Hodgins had created.

"Is there anything specific you needed this morning, or are you just being puckish today?" he asked.

"Don't get smart with me, Seeley Booth, or I may just let my puckish side out and see if you can really take it," Caroline glared a bit. "Now, I need you to get the Bug Guy to cease and desist on wanting me to go after Billy. He's beginning to e-mail me all sorts of legal nonsense and it's getting a bit tiresome."

"He's more scared of you than me, Caroline, so why don't you take care of it on your own?" Booth asked.

"Because if my sources are right, you got him into this mess with that Music God, so _**you**_ will get it straightened out," Caroline dared him to challenge her.

Booth sighed. He hadn't gotten Hodgins into this, but since Billy showed up during a conversation that did cause it, he was in some remote, microscopic way responsible.

"All right," he bowed to the inevitable.

"And if you don't get this taken care of, I will make sure you get to spend the night in the drunk tank," Caroline said as she walked to the door. "Have a great day, Cher."

"Great," Booth cursed. "Now I gotta deal with Hodgins' bullshit."

He grabbed his cell phone and walked out of the office to head over to the Jeffersonian. He'd have a chat with Angela and then see if Bones was busy. If she wasn't then maybe he could spend some time with her on an early lunch.

"I'm heading over to the Jeffersonian," he told the bullpen. He knew that they would be busy with all the crap he'd unloaded on them that morning, so there was nothing he had to directly concern himself with right then. He did have to be back by 3, though, as he had a meeting with that pathetic pansy Hacker.

_**The Jeffersonian**_

Booth waltzed into the lab area and looked for Angela. He saw Hodgins working on a computer, so he ignored his sorry ass and made his way to Angela's office. She was in there working on some kind of sketch.

"Hey, Angela," he said as he took a seat across from her.

"Hey, Studly," Angela ran an appreciative eye over his suit clad form. She may be married to Hodgie and all, but a woman would have to be dead not to take an appreciative look at Special Agent Stud Muffin. "What's up?"

"I need you to lighten up on Hodgins on the tattoo mess," he told her.

Angela's brows raised in surprise. Now this was a new twist. "Did he put you up to this? Because if he did this is a new low to get laid," she said, giving him a teasing glare.

"Trust me, Ange, there is no way I would be doing this in order for Hodgins to get lucky," Booth told her. "He's started e-mailing Caroline all sorts of legal mumbo jumbo to make a case against your Dad, and now she's on my ass to get this shit straightened out or she'll be after my ass."

"You're afraid of Caroline?" Angela said in wonder. Oh, this was _**so**_ good!

"Any sane person would be," Booth said without a hint of any lack of manliness.

"Caroline's a pussycat," Angela said in return. The look of utter disbelief on Booth's face was priceless. "Alright. I'll talk to Hodgie and give his shroud idea a try, but no promises. If I can't get my Dad's image out of my head when I'm having sex with Hodgie, then it's removal time. Got it?"

"Thanks, Ange," Booth said and then hightailed it out of there to look for Bones. He ran into Hodgins and cornered the hapless Bug Guy. "Any more e-mails to Caroline and I will rip your balls off! Now she's after my ass, Numb Nuts!" he told him then stalked off to see Bones.

Hodgins watched the G-Man stalk off. He was now more convinced than ever that this was all one big conspiracy against poor little Jack Hodgins. He made his way to Angie's office to see if he could possibly convince her to relent. He likened it to that old Shakespeare line _**once more unto the breach**_.

Booth found Bones in her office and when she quickly closed her laptop lid he knew she was working on a new novel. Even though they were together now he still couldn't get a sneak preview of the good stuff!

"Not even a peak?" he teased.

"When it's published," she reminded him of her rule. She had let other boyfriends see drafts of her novels, but with Booth, she was so desirous of his approval of her work that she wanted him to see only the finished product. "You're early," she observed when she noticed the time.

"Caroline decided to make me responsible for getting Hodgins to quit bugging her about Billy, so I came over and had a talk with Angela," Booth shrugged. "Then I was hoping to spend some time with you."

Bones felt a shot of arousal run through her. The very idea that Booth wanted to be here just to spend time with her excited her to no end. She knew that the hormones being produced by the pregnancy were influencing her previously high sex drive, and she found herself wanting him all the time, though the evenings were now out of the question for the time being. Even him in that Hazmat suit was arousing as it showed him off as a Squint like that one year at Halloween. Standing up she went over and closed her door, pulled shades, and turned around to face him, a sexy, wanton look on her face.

"I want you," she told him bluntly.

Booth got instantly hard from both the tone and the words. He gulped. "Uh, Bones, we're at work here," he pointed out. "I'd rather not get caught like Hodgins and Angela have so many times."

"I want you," she said as she made her way over to him, her hips swaying invitingly. When she got to him and took his lapels in each hand and pulled him down for a deep, probing kiss. Releasing the kiss for a moment she whispered in his ear. "I was thinking about a little mutual oral pleasure," she whispered playfully, nipping at his earlobe.

A number of fantasies involving just that ran through his mind, with number 13 (her office couch) slamming into his conscious thought as Junior stood proud right at that moment. His pants were now way too tight. His mind was now officially mush and Junior was taking over, common sense be dammed!

"Sounds great!" he croaked out as she pulled him down for another searing kiss. "Is the door locked?" he questioned.

"No," she smiled wickedly. "It's more fun this way."

Booth, with what little rational mind he had left, made a note to talk with her about how much time she was spending with Angela. She was obviously picking up some bad influences. Not that Junior and the Boys minded, but Booth didn't want to be labeled a depraved pervert by the world at large. It was bad enough when Father Mitch did so at confession almost every day.

"Get ready for the best orgasm you've ever had, Bones," he said huskily, his eyes focusing solely on her hands as she began unbuttoning her blouse.

_A/N: There's the tease for today. Tomorrow I will be posting the next chapter so we get the sex scene we all want. We also see if Hodgins makes some headway in the aftermath of Booth's intercession with Angela. I hope you enjoyed this one. Gregg._


	22. Chapter 22

_Sorry about the cliffhanger at the end of the last chapter, but one I like cliffhangers, and two, I thought this chapter would be a good standalone. I hope you enjoy it. Gregg._

_Disclaimer: I don't own, or profit from, these characters or franchise. No copyright infringement is intended._

Within moments both Booth and Brennan were naked and on the couch in the classic 69 position. In Booth's perverted little mind (Father Mitch's label, not his own) this was oral fantasy number thirteen and he was loving every second of it. Whether it was the enhanced pheromones that Bones was sending out, or just the fact that he was with Bones like this it didn't matter. The fact remained that Seeley Booth was getting to live out fantasies with Bones. And the best part? Booth was going to be able to walk into the waste of skin Hacker's office that afternoon knowing that that pathetic pansy would never get to know the complete satisfaction of knowing Bones intimately. If he was sure that Bones wouldn't kill him he would strut into Hacker's office and gloat.

Bones groaned and her hips twitched as she felt Booth's hot breath on her folds and a moment later the wonderful feel of his tongue as he laved it along the length of her slit. Her own attention was caught by the straining erection right in front of her face. She licked her lips as she stroked her hand up and down the length of him, all the while loving the feel of Booth going down on her. The illicit nature of doing this in her office, and with the door unlocked was very arousing, and she hoped that Booth enjoyed it as much as she was. She closed her eyes and whimpered as she felt him slide one long finger inside of her, and the constant laving of his tongue on her clit. Opening her eyes she angled his cock towards her and took the head in her mouth, swirling her tongue all around it. Then she began a slow bobbing of her head up and down his thick length. She shifted her hips to remind him of his responsibilities in this activity when he suddenly stopped his ministrations on her as she began blowing him.

Booth had to admit that when it came to a blowjob Bones was a grand master. Or mistress. Or whatever! He was a bit tired of all the gender political correctness crap, but he wanted to enjoy life so he sucked it up and dealt with it. He felt her inner muscles clench around his finger and he took a moment to enjoy the view right in front of him. It was something he'd dreamed and fantasized about for years, and now that he'd had her for a couple of months, he had to say that while the wait sucked, it was well worth it. He groaned as she startled fondling his balls, and then he went back to his own little oral explorations.

Bones knew that they didn't have much time for this, so she began a very rapid bobbing of her head, using her hand to follow her mouth up and down his length. She created as much suction as she could, knowing that he would be loving every second of it. Her concentration, though, was being constantly diverted by the wonderful sensations he was producing with his fingers and tongue. No man, or any of the few women she'd been with, had ever been so talented at cunnilingus. Her hips shifted and moved as if on some unconscious level, and her own oral attention on him was becoming more and more erratic. She could tell he was close and she picked up the pace even more. She felt him lengthen and swell even further and then received his offering, swallowing and savoring the creamy essence that was purely Booth. His shout of her name heightened the pleasure it brought her knowing that he had enjoyed this so much.

Booth didn't take the time to recover. Instead he went back to his own assignment and went to town on her pussy, using his lips and tongue to explore every soft, tasty fold and crevice. He pressed his thumb against her clit and began a pressure filled circular motion to give her the most stimulation he could provide. Her hip movements became highly exaggerated and erratic, her juices coating his mouth and chic. When he was sure she couldn't last much longer he felt her entire body stiffen and then spasm as she screamed his name as she came explosively.

Bones shifted around and laid herself on top of Booth, her head on his chest comfortably. He had brought her down from her orgasm slowly, and the deep fluttering feel of the aftermath was still deliciously thrumming through her.

"Was that as good as my King Stud dreamed of?" she asked playfully.

"Better than the fantasy, Bones," Booth told her, placing a kiss on top of her head.

"We better get cleaned up and out of here or people will come and find us like this," Bones suggested, getting up from on top of him. She looked down on his naked form and smiled. Seeley Booth naked was the most impressive sight in her opinion.

Ten minutes later they came out of her office and found everyone standing stock still and looking their way. A few jaws were hanging. Hodgins and Angela were standing in front of Angela's office, Angela looking impressed, while Hodgins just looked plain jealous.

"I never thought this would be possible, but you two are even worse than Angela and Hodgins," Cam said sternly, shaking her head as she made her way to her own office.

Booth turned beet red and turned to Bones. "I knew this was not a good idea, Bones," he told her _sotto voce_.

"You didn't think that when I was performing _fellatio_ on you," Bones told him, a small smile on her face.

"Please quit with the technical terms," Booth pleaded. "I need to get back to the Hoover. Pick you up after work?"

"Uh, huh," Bones said as she leaned up and kissed him, bringing forth some cheers from their rapt audience. She chuckled as Booth hightailed it out of there red faced. She made her way up to the platform and began working on the new set of remains to authenticate without a hint of anything being out of the ordinary.

Booth didn't go back to work right away. Not when he didn't have anything to do until 3 when he had to meet with Hacker. Instead he went to confession where he got his usual lecture about sexual immorality by Mitch and then called a pervert before being handed down a boat load of Hail Mary's and Our Father's to plow through. Then he went to the Diner. He was too embarrassed to go back to the Jeffersonian, despite how awesome the experience was. Now that he'd enjoyed a slice of Bones' Pie he was enjoying a massive piece of apple pie when Sweets came in and took a seat across from him.

"I hear that a rather interesting set of yells and screams were heard at the Jeffersonian coming from Dr. Brennan's office," Sweets commented as he took a sip of his coffee.

Booth could feel the blush coming back and he mentally cursed Sweets. The walking pimple was doing this on purpose, he just knew it!

"Is there anything you'd like to discuss?" Sweets pressed, enjoying the look on Booth's face.

"I don't think so, Sweets," Booth said through grinding teeth. He could feel the enamel wearing off. "Anything else?"

"I just thought you might like to know that Hacker is considering severing you and Dr. Brennan's partnership," Sweets let him know. He had been trying all morning to nip this insanity in the bud, but had been unsuccessful, so he decided to give Booth a heads up so the man could call in some serious favors, and also maybe put Hacker in his place once and for all.

"_**WHAT**_!" Booth shouted loudly as he abruptly stood up. "Did you do something to bring on this bullshit?" he demanded.

"I've spent all morning trying to get this stopped, but I don't have the clout you do," Sweets offered.

"That fucking pansy!" Booth said with deadly venom. "I'll fix his ass once and for all!" he said as he tossed some money down on the table, his pie all but forgotten. "Don't tell Bones, Sweets, or I'll sick Angela's Dad on you!" he told the hapless psychologist as he stormed out of the Diner.

Sweets decided now would be a great time for a vacation. He pulled out his cell phone and called his travel agent to check on some fares for an island getaway. It was getting downright dangerous here in DC.

_A/N: I hope you enjoyed this one. I couldn't resist bringing in Hacker and the next chapter will be the confrontation between Booth and Hacker. Should I let Bones know about it before the confrontation or not? Gregg._


	23. Chapter 23

_There were a lot of different ways Hacker could have been dealt with. Max could have had a crack at him, Booth could have pounded the living daylights out of him, Bones could be given her shot to put a smack down on him, or maybe even bringing in Cullen to do some damage control. I hope, though, that you enjoy what I came up with. It has my own brand of humor tied in. Gregg._

_Disclaimer: I don't own, or profit from, these characters of franchise. No copyright infringement is intended._

Booth was steaming as he barreled into the Jeffersonian, taking care not to let Bones know he was there. Fucking Hacker! That pathetic waste was trying to get back at Booth for keeping him from having Bones! God Damn him! Booth was going to settle his hash once and for all and it wasn't going to be pretty!

"Angela!" Booth said loudly as he strode into her office, not really noticing that the door had been closed and the shades drawn. He immediately turned around. "Can't you guys wait until you get home?" he demanded.

Hodgins and Angela rapidly separated and got dressed, Hodgins removing some shroud like thing from his right upper arm. Both looked very embarrassed at having been caught going at it like a couple of horny teenagers by Booth, especially Hodgins. Angela, while embarrassed, had enough of a wicked sense of humor to challenge Booth a bit.

"So it's alright for you and Bren to screw each other silly in her office, but I can't play a little _**hide the salami**_ with my Hodgie?" she questioned, practically daring him to respond.

Booth decided not to take the bate. "Listen up you two little energizer bunnies," he glared. "This doesn't get back to Bones. Hacker is trying to sever the partnership."

"What?" Angela and Hodgins said together, shocked to the core.

"But I'm going to settle that account once and for all," Booth told them. "That's where you come in."

"Anything you need," Angela said, making sure that Hodgins knew that he better not contradict her.

"Good," Booth said, an evil grin on his face. "I'm going to sick your Dad on him."

"I want him arrested!" Hodgins firmly reiterated his fervent desires. It was like a mantra now whenever he thought of, or heard mention of, Billy.

"We know what you want Mr. I Can't Hold My Liquor," Booth smirked. "It ain't happening so get over it, or should I send Caroline over to have another chat with you about it?"

"NO!" Hodgins immediately backtracked. No way was he going to have _**any**_ sort of Billy related conversations with Caroline _**ever**_ again.

"Tell me what you need," Angela offered.

By the time that three o'clock rolled around Booth was ready. He was not going to let Hacker get away with this bullshit. Plastering a smile on his face, and grasping the package that he had just received from Angela, he knocked on Hacker's door and walked in. He mentally looked at the office in disgust. The pansy didn't have a single bit of paperwork on his desk, and he was pretty sure that if he did some digging he would find that Hacker farmed out **_all_** his work and took **_all_** the credit.

"Hacker," Booth said calmly. He tossed the package on the desk.

"What's this?" Hacker looked at the package a bit nervously. He was sure that the grapevine had been active more than usual and that Booth knew that he was severing the partnership with Brennan. It was petty, he knew, but tough. Booth didn't deserve Temperance.

"I know how much you love ZZ Top and since Billy is Angela's Dad and she had some extra concert tickets and passes, she wanted me to give them to you. You even get dinner with Billy," Booth told him. It galled him that the piece of shit would be having an awesome evening, but the punishment phase handed out by Billy would be well worth it. Oh, yeah. No one knew how to bring on the pain and suffering like good old Billy. Just asked Hodgins.

Hacker's eyes popped out. He'd been trying like mad to get tickets with no luck! And now he gets dinner with the most awesome band leader in the world? Score!

"Thanks Booth," Hacker mumbled, his eyes still glued to the package.

"You wanted to see me?" Booth asked, smirking. Hacker was not going to love ZZ Top for much longer!

"Oh, yeah," Hacker schooled his voice to sound deeply apologetic and saddened. "Because of the policies in place regarding partner relationships, I need to sever yours and Temperance's partnership. I'm sorry, Booth, I tried to back you all the way to the top, but it was no go."

"Well," Booth sounded upset, but resigned. "Bones won't like it, but at least we have each other in the real sense. And with the baby she won't be able to work in the field for a while anyway. Thanks for trying, though."

"Anytime, Booth," Hacker told him, shocked, but pleased that the man had taken it so well, despite the fact that Hacker had lied his ass off. He prayed that Booth never found out.

"I wouldn't tell her if I were you, though," Booth warned him. "You're liable to wind up with some serious pain and suffering."

"Good advice," Hacker replied. He'd heard the stories of what Temperance could do when she was pissed, and he wanted no part of that.

"Anything else?" Booth asked, wanting to get out of this waste of skin's line of sight.

"No, that'll be all," Hacker said as he picked up the package. "Tell Angela I said thank you very much!"

"Not a problem," Booth told him, a sly smile on his face. Having talked to Billy personally not half an hour before, he knew what was in store for Hacker. He'd also had a long discussion with Caroline and Cullen, so he knew that he and Bones' partnership was safe and sound, and that what Billy was going to do to Hacker was the only thing to happen to the pansy. Nothing official whatsoever, and Billy was safe from prosecution.

He whipped out his iPhone when he got to his office and called Angela. "Mission accomplished," he told her. "Now remember our agreement."

"Right," Angela sighed. "No tattoo removal for Hodgie, and I pick up some nude color foundation makeup for the tattoo when having sex. But you owe me, Booth. You're ruining my fun messing with Hodgie's head."

"Much as I love the sound of that, Ange, the guy did have his pubic hair hideously ripped out for you," he reminded her. "I think that's suffering enough. In return I'll make sure he shuts up about wanting Billy arrested."

"You're getting there Studly," Angela chuckled and hung up.

Booth smiled and then punched one on the speed dial. "Hey, Bones," he said happily. "I'm done for the day, so how about leaving the lab early and enjoying a bit of an afternoon delight?"

"_Does my _**King Stud**_ want to show off some more skills_?" Bones teased him over the phone. She used a husky tone of voice, letting him know that she was more than ready for that afternoon delight. His demonstration of his oral skills that day had been spectacular and she wanted more of the same, as well as feeling him sliding deeply inside her, pounding in and out of her until she screamed his name in ecstasy.

"Definitely," Booth replied, his own voice turning a bit husky.

"_Pick me up in ten minutes_," Bones told him and hung up.

Booth rushed out of his office and hightailed it to the Jeffersonian. It wasn't everyday that Bones was even remotely willing to leave early, and since it was for some mind blowing sex he was not going to keep her waiting. He had his reputation as _**King Stud**_ to consider, after all. "Be patient, Bones, Daddy's on the way!" he crowed excitedly.

_A/N: Next up we find out what Billy does to Hacker. I hope you enjoyed this one. I felt that Hacker's suffering deserved its own chapter. Gregg._


	24. Chapter 24

_Thank you for the enthusiastic response to the idea of Billy being the one to hand down some punishment on Hacker. Keeping in the tradition of Billy's usual punishment for his errant son-in-law Hodgins, and the fact that I've used this story for a maximum of humor, I think Hacker will be a crying weeping mess. I hope the resulting _**artwork**_ isn't too much for some. I despise Hacker generally, so for this transgression, he really gets it. Gregg._

_Disclaimer: I don't own, or profit from, these characters or franchise. No copyright infringement is intended._

Booth was sound asleep at 4am when his cell phone rang. He began mentally cursing at whoever was ruining his beauty sleep. The King Stud moment didn't last the day before as her evening sickness had kicked in early, so she started throwing up five minutes after getting to the apartment. Thankfully he had not been in the line of fire this time, but it was still a mood killer. Junior was beginning to wonder if he would ever get to perform at any other time than way too early in the morning ever again, and Booth was beginning to wonder just how long this sickness stuff was supposed to last. He hadn't been around Rebecca much when she was pregnant with Parker, so he wasn't too sure about stuff like that. Picking up his cell phone he tapped the receive icon.

"What?" he growled.

"_You're disrespectful, pathetic excuse for a human being has been appropriately punished and will not be causing you and that Bone Lady of yours any more trouble_," came the gravelly voice of Billy.

"Thanks, Billy," Booth replied, an evil smile on his face.

"_Anytime_," Billy answered and then hung up.

"Booth?" a sleepy Bones asked as she raised her head from his chest. "Do we have a case?"

"No," Booth assured her. "Just a personal matter that needed dealt with."

"Okay," Bones said and then went right back to sleep on her favorite pillow: Booth's chest.

Booth went back to sleep smiling, imagining the horror on Hacker's face when he saw the _**damage**_.

_**Late That Morning**_

Assistant Deputy Director Andrew Hacker woke up a bit uncomfortably on top of his bed. He honestly did not remember anything from the night before meeting up with the lead man on ZZ Top, Billy. Not dinner, not anything afterward. He felt damn uncomfortable all over his front and back, and his groin felt like it was on fire. Stumbling to his bathroom he turned on the shower, not really even opening his eyes, and, when he felt it was hot enough, hopped right in.

"_**SHIT!**_" he screamed as searing pain shot through him front, back, and in between!

Hacker jumped right out of the shower and when he tried to dry himself off another wave of fiery pain shot through him. Something was seriously wrong! He rushed out to his bedroom where he had a full length mirror and stared in horror at what was wrong with him that morning. Tattoos! All over his chest and upper abdomen! And that wasn't the worst part. _**Oh My God!**_ What it said! In large calligrahy!

**I**

**Am Proud **

**To Be A _Gay_**

**American **

**Man**

Then he saw, to his growing horror, a multicolored rainbow framing his dick where his pubic hair used to happily reside. On the upper outside curve of the rainbow was printed _**Take Me Over The Rainbow**_**!**

At this point Hacker was freaking out. He could see his sex life becoming non-existent from that point on! He couldn't strip down to the bare essentials with a woman ever again! But what was on his back? That also hurt like a fiery kiss of death! He grabbed a hand mirror, prayed a pleading prayer, and turned around, using the hand mirror to see what else was on him. His jaw dropped and he felt like puking his guts out. There in big, bold calligraphy was a nightmare waiting for effeminate prison inmates who had cell mates named Bubba!

**I Like It**

**Hard, Rough, and Deep**

**From Behind!**

**Take Me**

**NOW!**

Below that on either side of his hips were full sized hand prints and in between the hand prints was spelled out, also in calligraphy, but smaller print with arrows on either side pointing to the hand prints:

_**Proper**_** Hand Placement**

Then he checked his upper arms, which hurt a little bit. His eyes widened. On his right arm was a small head of what looked like Liberace and underneath it said _**My Idol**_. On his left upper arm was a slightly larger head which was of Rock Hudson and below it it read **_Rock can _ROCK_ My World_**.

Hacker was ill. He couldn't fathom what was going on. How the HELL had this mutilation of such a perfect body happen? No way would Billy have allowed this to happen, but how the Hell **_did_** it happen? He couldn't even remember having anything to drink! Then he noticed a folded slip of paper taped to the upper corner of his mirror. He grabbed it and read the note, wanting to die.

_Hacker. You need to lay off the celebratory Tequila. It don't set well with you Boy. I tried to talk you out of the tattoos, but you insisted, saying your inner self needed to come through once and for all. Don't let it get you down, Son. Maybe now you'll be able to enjoy your sex life. Till next time. Billy._

Hacker staggered back and sat down heavily on his bed. He couldn't believe it! Billy was a fucking Sadist! How the Hell could he even think that he would want **_this_**? As it was he was about a second away from rushing to the can and hurling his guts out! Hacker was going to see that sick bastard go down! First, though, he was going to cry like a baby over the horrific destruction of his sex life.

_**The Jeffersonian That Afternoon**_

"Hey, Angela," Booth said, smiling widely. He'd just come from the Hoover Building where Hacker was trying without success to have Billy arrested. The man was practically manic. Caroline, though, was thwarting the nut bar, and Cullen was backing her up, plus informing him that the Booth/Brennan partnership was alive and well.

"Hey, Studly," Angela grinned. "Wanna see some pictures my Dad sent?"

Booth's smile widened. "Definitely!" he said, a bit too eager, but Hacker was a putz anyway who deserved **_no_** mercy.

"Let me call in Hodgie," Angela told him. "He's going to want to see how easy he got off with my Dad."

Booth chuckled, but patiently waited for Hodgins to arrive. When he did, they all three viewed the new artwork adorning Hackers body. Both Booth and Hodgins cringed and crossed their legs.

"I hate to say it, Ange, but your Dad is one sick puppy," Hodgins said firmly. He took another look at Hacker's back and shuddered in horror. At least his, ahem, violation had been tasteful. Nothing like this shit!

"I don't think Hacker's going to be bugging us for a long time to come," Booth said, his voice a bit subdued as he made a mental note to not _**ever**_ piss off Billy.

"He'll certainly never get laid again," Angela chuckled. "At least not with a woman."

"That was a mental image I did not need," Booth about puked recalling the tattoo on Hacker's back.

"That is so not right, Dude," Hodgins agreed.

"So he's really on a tear, is he?" Angela asked.

"Oh, yeah," Booth chuckled. "He showed off the artwork to Caroline so she would have proof of his mutilation, and then she told him that that note, and the fact that he couldn't remember the night before made it impossible to bring any charges. Hacker was shrieking when I left to head over hear."

"I hope he winds up in the drunk tank where some schmuck throws up on him," Hodgins said from his spot. He knew what the guy was going through and knew that Caroline would only put up with so much before lowering the boom.

"Well, I'm taking Bones home early to try and see if I can beat the evening sickness," Booth told them. "It's ruining my sex life. Now remember. Not a word of this to Bones. She'd likely head over and make sure he got some more body art. I don't want to visit Bones in jail."

"Got it, Studly," Angela chuckled. Brennan had told her all about how their sex life was suffering because she was getting sick in the evenings instead of the mornings.

Booth strode out into the lab area and smiled when he saw Bones coming back from Limbo.

"Hey, Bones," he said as he came up to her eagerly. "Ready to go and see if this is a better time to enjoy some quality time?" he asked, waggling his eyebrows, which brought a laugh from her.

"Let me gather my things," Bones said, a wicked smile of her own on her face. She was going to give Booth a session to remember! Hopefully she wouldn't get sick in the middle of all the fun.

_A/N: Well, there's the _**extreme**_ punishment meted out on Hacker. As I said, this story brings out the more extreme side of the humor, so I couldn't resist Billy going to town on Hacker. I hope you enjoyed it. Gregg._


	25. Chapter 25

_Here's a new chapter for this ongoing story. I want to thank everyone for the incredible response that this story has generated, even when the extreme level of the humor has moved it a bit further afield than I usually take our favorite characters in my stories. I hope that you continue enjoying this one, and I plan on working on this story as long as the interest continues. I hope you enjoy this new chapter. Gregg._

_Disclaimer: I don't own, or profit from, these characters or franchise. No copyright infringement is intended. _

Three days after Hacker got his just reward for his bullshit Booth was called in for a meeting with Cullen. He knew that he wasn't in any sort of trouble vis-a-vis that pansy Hacker, but he couldn't help being somewhat curious. Cullen was now a couple of levels above him, and most of his supervisory work fell to Hacker. Shrugging as he came up to Cullen's office, he knocked on the door and went in when Cullen bellowed out for him to.

"You wanted to see me, Sam?" Booth asked. Cullen had told him to start calling him by name a number of years before after he and Bones' efforts on behalf of his daughter, whose unfortunate death from cancer still angered Booth given the circumstances surrounding it.

"Yeah," Cullen motioned him to take a seat. "Hacker's been transferred to run the Boston Field Office. That means we have an ADD slot open. The Director feels, and I agree, that you should take Hacker's place."

Booth sighed. He'd turned down several promotions over the last few years because it meant leaving field work, and his partnership with Bones. This one was even more problematic.

"Sam, now is not a good time," he told the older man. "Bones is pregnant, and I promised her that us being together would not end our partnership. She won't work with another agent. Her position is, and we talked about this a few months ago when we got together, was that if I got promoted she would end her consulting for the FBI, but would run the lab while her interns did the work she has been doing."

Cullen nodded in understanding. He'd been ready for this one. "That's why your partnership is not being severed," he told Booth. "There are a lot of cases that another agent and an intern could deal with, and benefit from the work of the other squints in the lab. We want to be able to give you and Dr. Brennan the cases that are uniquely in your field. It would be enough field work to satisfy Dr. Brennan, but leave you enough time here to deal with the work you need to do as the ADD in the major crimes division."

"That's different," Booth commented.

"Sweets was pretty clear as to the likely reaction if we did anything that would sever the partnership, and what was done to that ass Hacker is pretty good evidence that Sweets was right," Cullen leveled a stare at Booth letting the man know that he knew just who was responsible for the tattooing and humiliation of Hacker. Truth was he was still laughing his ass off over it. He'd had the devil of a time holding in the belly laughs when he saw the visual proof of the tattoos. Hacker shrieking that his sex life was permanently destroyed was also a pretty funny memory.

"I'll send Hacker a get well soon fruit basket," Booth dead panned. "And I'll buy Sweets a drink. Obviously the kid knows which side his bread is buttered on."

"After scaring the shit out of him with those fake resignations?" Sam chuckled. "I think he knows never to mess with you two ever again. But I do want the two of you to continue with the counseling for a time while you adjust to your knew position, and also the reduced case load. Understood?"

"Alright," Booth agreed. He knew that this was a promotion he couldn't turn down. It had already been made known to him from on high that if he turned down anymore promotions he may very well find himself transferred with a lateral promotion to make the point that the FBI didn't make promotion offers lightly. Now he just had to make sure that Bones knew that this was something that was non-negotiable.

"Good," Cullen told him. "You'll start transitioning in on Monday. Take the rest of the day off and let Dr. Brennan and the other Squints know what's happening. Tell Dr. Saroyan to contact me so we can work out the details on the new arrangement."

"No problem, Sam," Booth said and left the office to gather his things and head on over to the Jeffersonian.

_**At The Jeffersonian**_

"Hey, Cam," Booth said as he approached her. "Sam Cullen needs you to call him. Some changes are going to be made, and he needs to coordinate."

Cam looked startled. "They're not seriously splitting up you and Dr. Brennan's partnership," she blurted the first thought that occurred to her.

"No," Booth told her, "but some changes are being made since Hacker was just transferred to Boston. I'm taking his place, but will still be working some cases with Bones. I need to go talk to her about this right now so she won't hear about it second hand and jump to conclusions."

"She'd castrate you is she thought the partnership was in jeopardy," Cam chuckled.

"Don't I know it," Booth muttered. "Just call Cullen and he'll explain everything. I gotta go."

He found Bones in her office working on some paperwork. It amazed him, as always, how much paperwork seemed to follow them around, no matter how simple some of the work they did was. He could tell that this set had nothing to do with her work with him, but more of what she did outside of that. He closed and locked her door so they could have some privacy.

"Working hard, Bones?" he asked as he approached her.

Bones looked up and smiled. She was always happy when he showed up unannounced. It amused her how different it was from the first year of their partnership. "Hardly," she told him. "I was just reviewing some case profiles that my grad students are working on in Limbo. I was just about finished. Do we have a case?"

"No, but I do have to talk to you about work," he told her, knowing she would understand the implications instantly. She was freaky like that when it came to the Bureau and their partnership.

"What happened?" she demanded.

"It's not bad," he told her, trying to make sure the proper groundwork was laid. He didn't need her hightailing it over to the Hoover to give Cullen the smack down. He'd wind up without a job. "I'm being promoted," he told her.

"I thought you said no upward promotions would be available for some time," she said, her mind awhirl with thoughts of not working cases anymore. She'd made a firm commitment that she would not work with anyone but Booth, and she was sticking to that.

"Hacker, the waste of skin and good air, is being sent to Boston to head up the field office there," he told her. "They want me to replace him here as the ADD of Major Crimes. But, the really big cases they want to continue with us as partners. It means less cases, but we still work together."

"Isn't that somewhat of a demotion for Andrew?" Bones asked. She liked that they would still be working together, though.

"First, please don't refer to that total putz by his first name," Booth told her. "It makes me want to hurl. And second, the idiot shouldn't have been an ADD in the first place, the brown nosing twit. Hell, he shouldn't even be head of a field office, but this was the only way to get rid of his sorry ass without raising all sorts of noise."

Bones was amused at Booth's total loathing of Andrew, but knew that there was good reason for it given that she went on one date with the man, and Booth was definitely the epitome of the jealous Alpha Male. She shut down her computer and put away the files.

"Are you done for the day?" she asked.

"Yeah," he told her.

"Let's go home and _**celebrate**_ your promotion," she told him, a wicked grin on her face as she emphasized the word celebrate.

Booth paled slightly. "Now, Bones," he said, backtracking slightly. "For the last couple of weeks sex after work has been a no go. Junior's developing a complex since you toss your cookies every time he makes his appearance when the festivities are about to begin. Do I have to break out the old Hazmat suit again?"

Bones chuckled as she pulled Booth's head down for a searing kiss. "No," she told him. "I just took my anti-nausea medicine and feel fine. What I want is to show you how much I approve of your new position in the FBI hierarchy, and show you in a way that will be quite memorable."

"Let's go," Booth said rapidly. "But if you puke, not sex after work or before bed until after the baby's born. I don't want Junior permanently scarred!"

Bones laughed as she let herself be led out of the Jeffersonian and to the SUV. This was going to be fun.

_A/N: I decided to write the sex scene as one chapter, which will be the next one. I hope you enjoyed this one, and also Hacker's continuing misery. Gregg._


	26. Chapter 26

_Thank you for the ongoing response to this story. I do break now and again to write other story ideas, but this one is a pleasure to come back to often. I hope you enjoy this new chapter. Gregg._

_Disclaimer: I don't own, or profit from, these characters or franchise. No copyright infringement is intended._

Booth was standing in the middle of the living room with his jaw on the floor. Bones was in front of him wearing nothing but a lab coat which was unbuttoned giving him a totally HOT view of her nude body. The slight swell of her abdomen was absolutely beautiful in his opinion, and while he was sure she would come at him with all sorts of anthropological stuff about why he thought her increasing size was a thing of beauty, he was going to simply go with it. It would save him a lot of headaches that way.

"What does this remind you of?" Bones asked as she stepped behind him and carefully removed his suit coat and placed it carefully on the couch.

Oh my God! He was in heaven as he recalled instantly what she was doing. "Collecting evidence, Bones?" he asked, his voice cracking a bit.

"Very good," she said as she moved in front of him, slowly loosening the tie. "And I'd assume you won't be naming Saints this time, will you?"

"Never worked anyway when it came to you," he told her, his breath hitching as she slid the tie through his collar.

"Are you saying I am more powerful than the Saints?" she questioned, an amused raise of one brow added in..

"I'll plead the Fifth on that one, Bones," he told her, knowing he'd be in confession the next day over the _faux pas_ on the whole naming Saints issue.

"Well this time, we won't be interrupted at critical moments," she informed him, unbuttoning his white dress shirt carefully. She slid her hands inside and ran them along the planes of his perfectly symmetrical chest. His pectorals were nicely muscled and felt strong and inviting under her hands.

"I'll shoot anyone who does," Booth declared firmly. No way was he going to miss out on this treat! Especially not after a couple of weeks of no evening nookie!

"I think I see some more evidence in your hair," she commented, a wicked gleam in her eyes as she looked up at him.

"No, no!" he said instantly. "I've had enough hair removed for one lifetime, and Junior and the Boys are finally recovered from the horror! My hair will remain on my highly evolved body of perfection!"

Smiling, she leaned her head forward and ran her tongue around his right nipple, nipping as she worked her way to the other side, giving it the same attention as the other one. She felt a shudder of her own as she felt him shiver with arousal as she worked her wicked way with him. Now _**this**_ is what she should have done a couple of years before when she was stripping off his clothes to gather that evidence. The clean lines and masculine scent that emanated from him was so deeply arousing that she felt the telltale signs of an imminent orgasm building inside of her. She knew the pregnancy hormones were partially responsible, but she wasn't about to spoil the sensations thinking about the science of it all.

"New way of collecting evidence, Bones?" Booth said in a gasp. He was incredibly turned on right then, and her lips and tongue along his chest was making him ache with desire.

"Taste _**is**_ an accepted method of identification in some circumstances," she told him, grinning at the trouble he was at managing to remain coherent. "And you taste delicious," she informed him, giving his nipple another quick nip before removing her hands and moving behind him.

Bones pulled his shirt down slowly from behind revealing his muscled back to her gaze. The musculature rippled as it was freed from constraint. She leaned forward and kissed the heated skin right between his clavicles. "So perfect," she murmured. "And tasty," she added, running her tongue along his skin. "So masculine," she continued.

Booth was making a note of all the incredible things Bones was doing to him as he was going to make sure that once round one was over with, assuming no sickness returned, he would return the favor. He was also going to send Sam Cullen a thank you card. The man had _**awesome**_ timing for giving someone the rest of the day off!

Bones trailed a finger just under the waistband of Booth's pants and teased him with it as she circled back around to stand in front of him, a smirk on her lips as she made note of his tenting pants front. That was what she was hoping to see. She unbuckled and slid the belt through the loops, and then unfastened the pants and unzipped them.

"Still don't need the names of Saints?" she questioned with a wink.

"Not unless I want to take care of Junior with a solo routine," he told her with gritted teeth. She hadn't even touched him down there yet and he was already about to lose it! He looked down on her nude body. "And I most definitely don't!"

Bones knelt down in front of him as she slid his pants and boxers down, revealing his long, thick erection. She grasped it and stroked it firmly, committing it's feel to memory once again. She cold tell how close he was to the edge, and it made her feel incredible. She was getting wet just thinking about sinking down on him and riding him to a powerful orgasm. But first things first. Leaning forward a bit, while inhaling his musky scent, she took him in hr mouth and began to bob her head back and forth letting her lips and tongue show him how much she enjoyed being with him. She smirked with him still in her mouth when she felt his hands weave into her hair. Not demanding or pressuring, but just laying on her head. It told her how much he was enjoying what she was doing. Besides the obvious, of course. But she wanted him somewhere else before he lost it. Pulling back, she let him slip from her mouth and she stood up, pulling him down for a deep kiss, grinding her self against him, the slight bulge to her abdomen providing another pleasurable contact point.

"Bones," Booth pleaded. He was so close it wasn't funny.

Bones pushed him back and he ended up on the couch, slumped back, his cock standing erect and ready. His eyes widened as he saw her looking at him with pure lust in her eyes. Damn she was _**HOT**_!

Bones climbed on the couch and straddled his hips, reaching between them and lining him up with her entrance. Smiling down wickedly, she sank down, her eyes fluttering as she felt him penetrate her, stretching her so wonderfully, and filling her completely. Her inner muscles spasmed like always when he was first inside of her.

"Oh, God!" Booth said as the sensations washed over him.

Bones chuckled. "No, just me," she told him as she steadily raised and lowered herself on him, enjoying how the movement created the most delicious friction inside of her. "Now just relax and enjoy," she told him. She moaned as she felt her orgasm creeping up on her faster than she had expected, even given how aroused she was. She sped up the pace. Taking his hands in her she placed them on her breasts and squeezed, showing him how much pressure given how sensitive they were now. Her moans increased as he matched her technique.

Booth was nearly delirious with pleasure. The only bad side was that he was slouched so low that he had no purchase, so all the work was being done by Bones. Not that he minded so much, but he wasn't completely comfortable with her doing all the work with her being pregnant. That is if you could call sex work. It was more like absolute paradise and pure pleasure, but energy was exerted and Bones was pregnant. He made a mental note to keep such thoughts to himself or he'd wind up sexless for some time and the recipient of numerous lectures about how women had dealt with pregnancies for all time. Not fun.

Bones could feel it coming, and looked down and saw that wonderfully glazed look in Booth's eyes when he was about to cum. She sped up her movements even more and then just as she was about to encourage him a bit her own orgasm exploded and she screamed his name as her body spasmed and shuddered as the wave crashed over her, her inner muscles pulsing wildly. She felt Booth let loose at that moment, too, and loved the feel of his hot cum flooding into her in rapid spurts, soothing the sensitive tissues as she slowly rode out her orgasm and milked him through his. She fell forward, and chuckled when Booth slid off the couch and settled on the floor, still fully embedded within her while she continued to straddle his lap.

Leaning her head up she kissed him languidly, lazily exploring his mouth with her tongue. Then she moved along his jaw and to his neck, nibbling and kissing her way over the expanse of delicious skin.

"That was wonderful," she told him, still trying to catch her breath. "I've missed that."

"Me, too," he told her as he held her tightly to him.

"I hate to move, but I need to get cleaned up," she said regretfully. "Meet me in bed for some more fun?" she asked with a raise of her brow.

Booth chuckled. "You're insatiable, Bones," he told her.

"Just wait until the baby's born and I'm back at my optimum body index and physical shape," she told him as she stood up and rushed to the bathroom.

"She's even _**more**_ insatiable?" he questioned incredulously. He decided to ask Father Mitch if there were any Saints for sexual stamina. He had a feeling he was going to need a bit of divine help to keep up with Bones over the long haul. He smiled. But what a way to live! He got up and followed her into the bedroom.

_A/N: There's the scene. I hope you enjoyed it, and the redo of the gathering evidence scene that we all thought was not nearly enough when it aired a couple of years ago. Gregg._


End file.
